By Rya Backer
A truly amazing thing happened in the music world yesterday. Several months ago, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps (a cast member on Bravo's "The Real Housewives of New York City," the most important television franchise arm of our time) glided off her throne and stepped into a gilded recording studio. There, she infused the microphone with her silken melodies, and — not unlike the cardinal rule learned by English majors — she sang what she knew. And yesterday, we citizens of the Internet huddled around our speakers to glean her knowledge via her song "Money Can't Buy You Class." It's kind of like if Emily Post hooked up with T-Pain to record a spoken word jam at a late '90s Bar Mitzvah jam. And that's evidently a good thing, because despite trying, I can't get the song out of my head.
This is not the first time one of the cast members of "Real Housewives" has added "song slinger" to her resumé. Gretchen from "Orange County" has a single, and if you've never heard "Tardy for the Party" — a collaboration between "Atlanta" cast members Kim Zolciak and Kandi Burruss — please do so immediately.
The Countess' dance number is catchy and all, filled with Auto-Tune and etiquette advice, but it's the song's bridge that really requires our attention. That's where we learn the following:
» Life is all about elegance and flair and savoir-faire.
» You don't have to be rich and famous to be unforgettable.
» It's not about where you're from, it's about what you've learned.
She kind of has a point, doesn't she? I'm ready for her follow-up, which hopefully will include tips on how to properly eat an artichoke, if May 1 is too early to wear white and if you can throw things at the help if they make a mistake.