Live-Blogging the 'TRL' Finale: All Good Things Must Come To An End

Shout out your homies and then screech at the top of your lungs because it's time to live-blog the "TRL" finale! Yes, after 10+ years of racing home after school to catch 45-second snippets of our favorite music videos, "TRL" is saying goodbye in a prime-time extravaganza called "Total Finale Live," which I suppose technically makes it "TFL." (That will probably confuse Tim Kash, since "TFL" usually refers to the London transit authority.)

All of our "TRL" faves are likely to appear, from the original HBIC Carson Daly (although nowadays he's about half the size as he was in 1999), to the artists that "TRL" helped catapult into superstardom: BSB, Beyonce, Korn (remember them?!) and – fingers crossed - LFO. I mean, Britney.

So join me as I revert back to my 16 year-old self and enjoy "TRL" one last time. I've got an ignored math textbook next to me on the couch, I'm shoving Oreos into my mouth by the fistful and I'm praying that my comment flashes on screen during Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody."

7:56 pm - Hello! Or as Marjorie from "America's Next Top Model" would say "bonjour!" We're just moments away from the "TRL" finale.

7:58 pm - Marjorie was robbed.

8:00 pm - The show is opening with a quick countdown of the top 10 moments, I think. #6 is Korn's arrival. #5 is Michael Jackson. #4 is Brad Pitt re-encacting a scene from "Seven." These are getting scarier as they go on. I'm expecting Mariah Carey's meltdown to be #1.

8:02 pm - #1 is Beyonce live! Right now! How is she going to live up to that expectation?

8:04 pm - Beyonce is doing the same exact performance from last night's "SNL." Thanks for the preferential treatment, B! (At least she changed clothes?)

8:07 pm - It's hard to follow Beyonce's "Do this with your hand!" direction whilst typing.

8:08 pm - Beyonce is taking us back to her "Crazy In Love" days. You know, if she really wanted to do something shocking, she would reunite with tDestiny's Child. And not Michele Williams and Kely Rowland. The ORIGINAL D-Child girls. Latavia, where you at?!

8:09 pm - My buddy Sway just introduced Damien Fahey and Carson Daly. And thanks to a weird audio glitch, he did this twice! Whoops!

8:10 pm - Carson Daly just said his head was going to explode. Ironically, his head is looking smaller than ever!

8:11 pm - Carson and Damien are rattling off all the artists that "TRL" broke. Fall Out Boy, 50 Cent,Britney Spears. It'd be more fun if they rattled off all the artists MTV tried to shove down our throats. Hi Mandy Moore and Lady Soveriegn!!

8:12 pm - The #10 "Producer's Choice" video is OutKast's "Hey Ya!" And in true "TRL" fashion, we jump into the song on verse #2.

8:22 pm – Miley Cyrus is in the TRL photo booth. The resulting photos are 99% less risqué than her infamous "Vanity Fair" shoot.

8:23 pm – Travis Barker is appearing live via satellite on the giant MTV monitor in Times Square. Right now the European tourists are massively confused.

8:25 pm – Diddy has appeared on "TRL" 37 times, more than any other artist. The person with the second-most "TRL" appearances? His man-servant: Fonzworth. (Not really.)

8:28 pm – Diddy is crying. Seriously. But think about it -- you'd be crying too if you no longer had a place that you could just randomly pop in to self-promote yourself.

8:30 pm - Sorry folks. Some technical glitches are holding me back. But fear not – they should be smoothed out in time for Christina Aguilera's upcoming "makeup tips" segment.

8:35 pm - Ben Stiller is our generation's Robin Williams. He used to really funny and unpredictable, but nowadays he just manages to ruin almost every live event with predictable schtick.

8:37 pm – Carson Daly is walking through the studio hallways. OMG – that's my dressing room! Who are all those people?! Get out of my dressing room, fools!

8:38 pm – Vanessa Minnillo is back on MTV! Don't say the "F" word on the air again, girl!

8:39 pm - LaLa and Ludacris tossed to five seconds of the #8 video: Usher's "Yeah!" Literally: five seconds.

8:40 pm – O.M.G. Dave Holmes and Jesse Camp are on MTV again. This is the best thing I've seen on TV so far this year.

8:41 pm – Dave Holmes looks exactly the same. And Jesse Camp gained some weight and some vocabulary!

8:42 pm – Ladies and gentleman, Christina Aguilera, via 15 second delay! If we can land a man on the moon, surely we can figure out a way to conduct live interviews via satellite that don't consist of 40% awkward silences.

8:44 pm – Kudos to Xtina for going through her discography and NOT plugging her new greatest hits album. And points deducted from Carson for NOT asking Christina about that one time they hooked up.

8:45 pm – Kid Rock just signed Taylor Swift's "TRL Yearbook" backstage. How much you wanna bet his signature consisted of an "X" and a filthy drawing?

8:49 pm – In an odd MTV promo, Vampire Weekend are desperately trying to shatter their "privileged white boy" image by teaching one of their members how to ride a bike.

8:50 pm – Damien and Hillarie are reminiscing about Hillarie's first time on the red carpet at the VMA's. Lance Bass is wearing a denim suit with a giant flame on it. Did we really not know he was gay?

8:53 pm – Quddus alert! Sadly, Magic the Old Navy Dog is nowhere in sight.

8:54 pm – Fall Out Boy is performing without Pete Wentz. Patrick Stump seems very, very, very liberated. Just sayin'.

8:57 pm – A dude from "The Academy Is…" is filling in. But can he do that jump/spin thing?

8:58 pm – It's starting to hit me that "TRL' is ending. I'm about to pull a Diddy! Where are the Kleenex?

9:00 pm - A promo for 50 Cent's New BFF show has made me go from sad to angry.

9:03 pm – A cross-country hip hop performance has been promised. I hope they figure out the annoying delay by then.

9:04 pm – Did Damien Fahey just mention my live blog on the air?? Damien, if you can hear me, pull your left earlobe for me.

9:06 pm – Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez are going to the window one last time. In the 70's, there were a lot of homeless people in Times Square. In 2008, there's Justin Timberlake looking like a homeless person in Times Square. We've come a long way, baby!

9:08 pm – Remember when JC Chasez was being pushed as the heartthrob of the group? I imagine JC thinks about that often.

9:10 pm – Vintage clip alert: Carson is being tackled by N*Sync in Santa hats! I already met my "Lance Bass joke quota" so I'll refrain from saying anything further.

9:11 pm – Dave Holmes + Jonathan Davis = 1999 all over again.

9:13 pm – As I watch an old clip of Eminem, I'm reminded of my #1 "TRL" memory. I was a gawky kid from the suburbs who was killing time before a taping of "The Daily Show," so I wandered through Times Square while Eminem was on "TRL." Kids from his street team were tossing promo CD's of "My Name Is..." into the crowd. I approached one of them for a copy, and they charged my $10. And I paid it. Let's hear it for getting hustled!

9:18 pm – Kid Rock is drinking on the air. That seems about right.

9:22 pm – Nobody in Times Square gives a crap about Kid Rock. That seems about right.

9:23 pm – Shout out MTV News! It's so surreal to think that I grew up watching MTV News on "TRL" and now I'm friends with John, SuChin, Sway, Kurt, Gideon, etc.

9:24 pm – Sadly, my "Idol in 60 Seconds" recaps aren't on the "Top 5 MTV News Moments" countdown.

9:26 pm – I highly doubt I will be saying "yes" to this Jim Carrey movie.

9:28 pm – I don't think I've mentioned yet that 50 Cent is running late to the "TRL" finale. Classy move, Fiddy! I suppose it's all part of his new album's marketing campaign: delay delay delay.

9:30 pm – Sweet niblets! Miley Cyrus is taking more photos. Her manager should not be letting her near any cameras after those Sidekick photos leaked!

9:33 pm – In a pretty insane "Diddy Promotes Himself" highlight reel, Diddy just shouted out Virgin Megastores, Tower Records and Blockbuster. One of them is about to shut down, one doesn't exist and the last one doesn't sell music anymore. Considering modern day Diddy just said Miley Cyrus' name on the air, I expect her to file bankruptcy circa 2018.

9:35 pm – Ludacris is paying tribute to "TRL's" bleeping policy, by performing a song that the home viewer can't hear much of.

9:38 pm – The medley continues with "Stand Up" and then Nelly performs "Hot In Herre" for the white girl studio audience. Seriously, why did we give all the studio audience tickets to Elle Woods' sorority?

9:39 pm – Snoop Dogg joins them on stage. Oh I see! The cross-country bi-coastal rap medley wasn't literal. But wait a second… Snoop is from the West Coast. Ludacris is from Atlanta. And Nelly is from St. LunaticsLand. That's not exactly an "East Coast / West Coast" collabo, is it?

9:44 pm – In another promo, Vampire Weekend is encouraging us all to practice safe sex. And it will work, because now every time I'm about to have sexy time I'm going to think of Paul Simon and it'll totally kill the moment. Ick.

9:47 pm – I've never met Carson but Damien Fahey is one cool dude.

9:49 pm – Carson Daly is introducing the infamous Mariah Carey Ice Cream Meltdown moment. I thought this clip was banned! Fun fact: I keep that tape at my desk at all times.

9:51 pm – Susie Castillo asks Hilary Duff which star she remembers meeting on "TRL." Instead of saying Joel Madden, she goes the J. Lo route.

9:52 pm – It's time for "My Life As A CoverGirl with Christina Aguilera' again. Oof.

9:54 pm – Carson introduces the #5 video of the night – "Dirrty." Raise your hand if you forgot we were counting down music videos tonight.

9:54 pm – Hehe, Xtina said "nutshell."

9:56 pm – Hold up! Carson just said that in 11 minutes Samuel L. Jackson & The Backstreet Boys are going to take the stage. Did Sam Jackson replace Kevin Richardson? If not, can he please?

9:58 pm – Justin Timberlake is back, this time sans JC Chasez, who is apparently busy backstage signing copies of the "Drumline" soundtrack.

10:01 pm – And now it's Fall Out Boy sans Pete Wentz again. During a phoner, Pete just admitted to buying a bootleg of "Twilight." If you listen closely you can hear representatives of the MPAA knocking on Mr. Wentz's door right now.

10:03 pm –So "TRL" is leaving but "FNMTV" is coming back. This is exactly like the time my parents told me they were splitting up. My mom said, "Your father and I are getting a divorce…but we're getting a kitten!!!" True story.

10:10 pm – The Backstreet Boys are rocking out "I Want It That Way" one last time on the TRL stage. OMG who is going to sing Kevin's part? This was the one BSB single I recall Kevin having a solo on!

10:12 pm – Howie is singing it. Meh.

10:13 pm – Anyone else getting emotional at home? This truly is the end of an era.

10:14 pm – Hello again, John Norris! The last time John and Nick Carter were in a room together, he was grilling BSB about those sketchy Lou Perlman molestation rumors that bubbled up last year. Needless to say, this time things are a lot less tense.

10:15 pm – Did BSB really outlive all the other boy bands? The BlockHeads might disagree.

10:16 pm – I just spotted Tamar from the Buzzworthy Blog! Yay!

10:17 pm – Oh, and Good Charlotte are there, too.

10:20 pm – If "TRL" is leaving us, then maybe MTV can at least bring back "MTV Live." It was one of the precursors to "TRL," that featured a chill set, laid back interviews, and world premiere music videos. I remember seeing Kurt Loder and Carson talking about the debuts of Madonna's "Ray of Light" and Radiohead's "No Surprises" videos. Those were both pop culture moments that totally inspired me. Will the current generation of MTV viewers be similarly inspired by "The Hills?"

10:22 pm – Carson is on the phone with the reclusive Eminem. I'm starting to think that Eminem and Dick Cheney hide out in the same caves.

10:27 pm – Thanks to an awkward edit, 50 Cent managed to teleport from the outside of an elevator to the lobby of the building during his "live" performance. If only he could teleport back to 2004, when he was still making hit records. (Just kidding, Fifty! Please don't hurt me! Can't wait to hear your new album! I think your Donald Trump impression on your MTV reality show is stellar!)

10:33 pm – A question for the MTV censors. If you bleeped the gunshot sound effects on M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" music video, then why are 50 Cent's allowed?

10:34 pm - Wait a second...I thought this was ending at 10:30pm?

10:35 pm – "TRL" doesn't want to leave. And I whole-heartedly endorse its filibuster.

10:38 pm – This show needs more Jesse Camp and Dave Holmes. No disrespect to Vanessa Minnillo.

10:39 pm – Wow. Good Charlotte look great. Benji lost a lot of weight. Nick Carter lost a lot of weight. Carson Daly lost a lot of weight. I wonder if that's why Eminem didn't show up tonight?

10:41 pm – Justin Timberlake is mocking Lyndsey's accent. Watching him be a dirtbag on TV brings new meaning to "d--- in a box."

10:43 pm – Lyndsey just made an unemployment joke. In these economic times, not so funny.

10:45 pm – Dear MTV: Please give Taylor Swift her own show. Thank you.

10:48 pm - I don't know about the actual bra, but the ads for the Victoria's Secret Miracle Bra are indeed quite miraculous.

10:51 pm – "TRL" has always been synonymous with Britney Spears. And I suspect that the decline of "TRL" can be traced back to the decline of Britney. (Although, using that argument, "TRL" would be having a comeback right now.)

10:54 pm - Of course the number one most influential "TRL" video has to be Britney's "Baby One More Time..." clip. Think of how many slutty Halloween costumes it inspired.

10:51 pm – "TRL" has always been synonymous with Britney Spears. And I suspect that the decline of "TRL" can be traced back to the decline of Britney. (Although, using that argument, "TRL" would be having a comeback right now.)

10:57 pm – During Carson and Damien's heartfelt farewell, Kid Rock and Snoop Dogg are being inappropriate acting like Kid Rock and Snoop Dogg.

10:58 pm – And just like that, "TRL" is gone forever. Times Square and MTV will never be the same. What are we gonna do now?

10:59 pm – Oooh a sneak preview of the new Britney Spears documentary. What was I just talking about?