‘90210’ Recap: ‘It’s High Time’

Try as we might, sometimes there is no denying one’s true urges, be it food cravings (pizza and ranch dressing!), strange wardrobe choices (clogs!) or, in Naomi’s case, an attraction to a four-eyed, M.I.T.-bound geek (also known as Max).

Naomi was trying to shake her nerd crush—which was getting more and more difficult due to Max frequently dropping inadvertently sexy things like “naked toad” and repeating her signature phrases verbatim (there’s nothing Naomi loves more than hearing her own wise words, is there?)—by refocusing her attention on shirtless guys and thirsty Africans. You see, being the multitasker that she is, both were in the hopes of bettering her chances to get off the UC wait list and into the arms of a hot, not-so-brainy college man. But when her Nerd in Shining Armor saved the day (and her photo shoot, and thus her chances at UC) again, and because Naomi does what Naomi wants, she waved a finger at high school convention and went for her “Torchwood”-recording stud (only after swearing him to secrecy, of course).

While Naomi’s offer may have been enough for Mr. August (who doesn’t have a lot of thoughts to begin with), it turns out she’s just not Max’s “type,” which is a not-so-nice way of saying he’s just not that into you. But Naomi views herself as “everyone’s type,” so expect some high-quality attempts to expand Nerd Max’s palate next week (hello, Na’vi costume!).

Emily continued to ruin Annie’s relationship, friendships and career by sabotaging her every move, whether it was with a mysterious soy latte order or trashing a dressing room. Annie had finally had enough. She made her dislike for Emily known to the Abbott Playhouse crew (which cost her her job) and went completely feral at school, in “Mean Girls”-inspired jungle attack in the cafeteria. Just as everyone seemed to be turning on Annie and siding with the Innocent Girl From Kansas, Emily made a direct move for Liam. Taking a page from creepy Jasper’s book, she wound up in his bedroom wearing only a button-down, asking to spend the night. Considering Liam’s negligence for family boundaries (remember Annie was his brother’s girlfriend? Bon jour Monsieur Charlie!), I’m not entirely sure he won’t get tangled into something messy here. Shall we expect Annie’s full on mental breakdown one episode from now, or two?

Despite their initial acceptance, Teddy was feeling strange around Dixon, Liam and Navid (because… gay guys don’t like volleyball?). Ever the loyal watchdog (she does need something to take her mind off being the other woman), Silver quickly scolded them for treating him differently. The compromise was a night on the town at a local gay club, where the boys presumed Teddy was into shirtless men and techno beats. While Liam freaked when a stranger offered him a drink (don’t mind him, he’s just a recovering alcoholic), resident hams Navid and Dixon welcomed the opportunity to bust out their (lamest) dance moves in front of an eager audience. As the duo were busy tearing up the dance floor, Liam and Teddy shared a sweet moment outside, reaffirming their friendship over plans to share a burger.

Ivy continued to use herbal refreshment to numb her pain (this time it was her broken heart) and was sent to a therapist when her mom caught her toking up and watching cartoons at home. Laurel may be a lot of things (a cougar, an aging hippie) but she does not use marijuana to self-medicate (she just uses it to get really high). So Ivy visited a doctor, who in turn prescribed some…medical marijuana (who needs a degree in this town?). While shopping for some tasty treats, she managed to snag the attention of Raj, a freshman at UCLA. The fellow stoner opened her eyes to new experiences, like the L.A. subway system—wait, they have those?—but once the haze has faded will she still think Raj is as “amazing” as ever?

The Untitled Adrianna Tate-Duncan Project was low on the network’s list of priorities (and my interests) due to insufficient drama, mostly stemming from Navid’s refusal to sign a release. “But there will be drama. I’m all about drama,” Aid pleaded with the producers. Sadly, this is the only time where that is appropriate and not, well, crazy. Because Aid aspires to be the next Lauren Conrad (don’t we all), she knows that boyfriend messes are the most coveted reality show moments (see: Jason, Spencer, Justin Bobby). Navid already cheated on her (with her best friend) so does he really want to ruin her career, too? Eventually he caved, and once the release was signed, the network was able to put together a pilot presentation for her sexy, crazy “Hills” meets Kardashians project. The title sequence featured all of Adrianna’s smiling friends, including a close up on Silver’s jewelry, revealing her to be the other woman Aid vowed to destroy.

What will happen between Aid and Silver? Did Emily ruin Annie’s friendships and her chances at Carnegie Mellon? Will Max give Naomi a chance? Is Ivy’s stoner sort of cute? Anyone else think it was weird when Navid suggested Adrianna and Dixon get together (as if this show isn’t incestuous enough!). Let us know what you think in the comments and on Twitter!