You wouldn’t necessarily think it, but Kim Kardashian is just super relatable. In the September issue of Allure, she opens up about her infamous sex tape, where she sees herself in five years, and pretty much everything else.

OK, so we all know she made a tape with ex-boyfriend Ray-J. “Not my most proud moment,” she says. “It was humiliating. But now let’s move on.” I agree. Let’s!

Kim is now the proud queen of the Kardashian Empire, which includes beauty products and fitness dvds. “Makeup is my life,” she says, and has been since she was 14.

As for grooming, it’s more like what is there to groom? “I am Armenian,” she says, “so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms...my entire body is hairless.” And in case you hadn’t noticed, Kim is the owner of one of Hollywood’s most coveted derrieres. Since her Playboy pictorial Kim has lost about 15 pounds. “When I am in shape, I feel sexy,” she says.

With everything going on in her life, Kim still manages to be a workaholic. “I feel lazy when I’m not working. I learned all my business sense from my dad. He always believed in me, and I think the last thing he said to me before he passed away was, ‘I know you’re gonna be OK. I’m not worried about you.’”

In between flying all over the country to promote her brand, Kim found the house of her dreams in L.A. where she’s converted one of the five bedrooms into a closet. Despite the $4 million price tag, Kim had to have it.

“It was way above my price range,” but “I saw it...and was like, ‘This will be mine.’” Now all she needs is the family to live in it. “In five years I would hope to be settled down, have a baby or two,” she says. But only time will tell. Nevertheless, I agree with her late father; she’ll definitely be OK.