Snooki gets seven patterns on her nails.
Photo: Getty Images/Courtesy of Snooki’s Twitter
Here we are, going about our normal morning routine. Hang up the jacket, grab a cup of coffee, scour the feeds for news, catch up with Snooki on Twitter (as we do)…when our eyes happily fall upon a new Twitpic! Snooki has just gotten a brand-new manicure, and boy, oh BOY, is it a doozy. I know, I know, you have eyes, so you can obviously see this isn’t your grandmother’s go-to French tip (also, I know you know Snooki would never settle for something as ordinary [albeit beautifully classy] as that). This is something else. Something special! Snooki has broken new ground with this here manicure, opting for not one, not two, but SEVEN different patterns on just one hand of nails!
Who knows what the other hand looks like (other than Jionni and all the people with whom she has an actual daily face-to-face relationship and not just one via the interwebz), but the five (very tan) fingers alone are mind-scrambling already. Let’s break it down. First, the (presumably acrylic) nails are shaped into what our mortal minds can best describe as a small shovel or finger spoon that flares from the nailbed out to a straight flat top. These widened nails create more surface area, canvas if you will, and are all the better to really get to work on showing off some serious nail art. On her thumb, a diagonal stripe separates a robin’s egg blue portion decorated with silver metallic stars and what looks like white and orange tiger stripes. Moving to Snooki’s index finger, we find, set against a neon yellow background, a leopard-print heart (duh) with a bedazzled border (double duh because you KNOW how Snooki loves bedazzling).
Her middle finger is split into three sections, one solid hot pink area with tiny stars flanked by two portions of black and white stripes. Going a little girly, Snooki features a variation on the French tip, subbing out white with black and green polka dots and dividing the two sections with a white gemmed bow ornament. Rounding out the manicure, her pinky finger is all black with a simple stripe of pink and a line of small rhinestones running diagonally across. Sure, hataz gon’ hate, and this mani may not be for everyone (I know the shape alone would give me trouble, but that’s also because I’m the clumsiest, least graceful human to tread the Earth), but riddle me this: When was the last time it took two paragraphs to describe your manicure? *drops mic, feedback*