The Worst Box Art of 2008
We can't mention the best box art from 2008 without calling out the bad and the ugly, which included giant babies, men in creepy masks, pantsless women and beyond. Here are some of the worst video game covers we've seen this past year.
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"My Dream Job: Babysitter" (PC)
What the Box Tells Us: Forget doctor, lawyer or astronaut: A girl can now finally have the job of her dreams -- babysitting seven kids.
Pros: The game looks to be fun for its target demographic -- until the runaway baby carriage hits that stray beach ball.
Cons: Something seems off about the proportions of the children. The baby on the bottom left looks humongous, as does the "toddler" with his hands in his pockets. No one said anything about taking care of giant kids.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Ten Pin Alley 2" (Wii)
What the Box Tells Us: You can throw bowling balls at people! "You" being a one-legged contortionist.
Pros: It's definitely bowling, no doubt about that. And it looks like the designers tried to do something different...
Cons: But is that pin humongous or is that man tiny? Why is a bowling ball being hurled at him? And I only count seven pins on this cover, not 10!
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"From the Abyss" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: In this game, pants aren't needed. Neither are shirts or armor.
Pros: Like most gamers, I'm all for badass female warriors.
Cons: But I don't care who you are — two belts don't equal pants.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"My Secret World" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: Not much, because it is a secret world after all. Here, it looks like girls can "create, express and share" their secrets. Various symbols give clues about what the secrets might be: a cell phone, a key, some hearts, and "?!?"
Pros: All this secrecy causes intrigue. What could a trio of dolled-up, pre-teen girls be giggling about?
Cons: How is it your "secret world" if two friends are looking over your shoulder? Friends, get your own DS and your own copy of "My Secret World."
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Air Traffic Chaos" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: The "chaos" of an air traffic controller's job -- keeping planes from crashing into each other -- would make a fun DS game. I mean, look at that guy: he's got a huge, shiny grin on his face as he proudly proclaims, "I am an air traffic controller!" You know, in case you weren't sure who he was.
Pros: It makes a seemingly mundane job look like it could be fun.
Cons: The cover sends mixed messages. Why is the guy smiling amidst the "chaos"?
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"AMF Bowling Pinbusters!" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: It's bowling, but with your favorite archetypes. Like Tough Guy With Mohawk, Giant Scottish Guy Who Is Probably Wearing A Kilt, Geeky Vampire Kid, Asian Girl With Headphones/Earmuffs or Attractive Woman Whose Cleavage Is Covered By The ESRB Rating. There's an avatar for everyone!
Pros: So bad, it's good.
Cons: But still bad.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Nancy Drew: The Phantom of Venice" (PC)
What the Box Tells Us: A sinister-looking man wearing a creepy green mask sneaks around on rooftops and holds out jewelry… to perhaps entice unsuspecting young women? The perfect game for daughters. Maybe it will also tell girls to please accept candy from strangers and feel free to step into their vehicles at any time. And leave bedroom windows wide open too, while you're at it.
Pros: The green mask is hard to bypass at the game store.
Cons: But the inherent creepiness takes a hot shower or two to remove.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Rock Blast" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: You can "blast" multi-colored "rocks" with... other multi-colored "rocks." It's also "casual."
Pros: If you're uncertain what the title "Rock Blast" entails, well... there ya go.
Cons: If you're uncertain as to how this game is actually fun, this cover comes up short.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Little League World Series Baseball 2008" (Wii, DS)
What the Box Tells Us: The pitcher is cross-eyed, the umpire is cross-eyed (angry too?), the catcher looks sleepy and the batter is about to wet his pants in fear. No one on this cover is having any fun.
Pros: In other words, it portrays being in real Little League.
Cons: If that's true, why would you want to bring this home?
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Alone in the Dark" (Xbox 360, PS2, Wii, PC)
What the Box Tells Us: This box art is full of mixed messages. For one, it's not dark out (is it snowing?), and even in the slashed image across the box, there's a bright light shining. Two, the guy who looks sort of like Keanu Reeves doesn't seem to be alone. I see two other people who may or may not be him; one presumably hit by a car (who's driving?) and another shadowy figure walking in the distance. "Alone in the Dark"? More like "Being Chased By People Trying To Kill Me In Broad Daylight."
Pros: It's good to see Keanu getting some work again.
Cons: The title seems to be a misnomer. Oops!
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
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