I don't know about you, but when I was in high school, I had to take a six-month course on how to drive. We learned everything from how to accelerate onto the highway to how far away you need to park from a fire hydrant to how to not look like a complete dork in your license picture.
It was a good class. Unfortunately for my teacher, though, I've known everything I need to know about driving since I was as young as six years old. You see, I was a frequent player of "Hot Wheels: Stunt Track Driver," only the best PC driving game ever.
I learned everything I needed to know to get my license from that game, and now, you can too! Here are all the things that Hot Wheels computer games *definitely* taught you about driving.
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It's all about having a sweet ride.
Mattel -
And picking a boss road to drive down.
MattelIt's about the journey, not the destination.
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Might I suggest a mountain?
MattelWith a face on it!
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Watch out for animals!
Mattel -
Try to avoid crashing.
MattelUnfortunately, in real life, your car doesn't recover this quick.
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Definitely don't slow down for turns.
Mattel -
If you go really fast, your car will be enveloped in sparks.
MattelAnd it totally won't be weird or scary or dangerous.
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If you do something awesome, it may even start spurting fireworks.
Mattel -
Stop signs are not necessary.
MattelLivin' on the edge.
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Sometimes, roads randomly end in mid-air.
Mattel -
So cue awesome flips.
MattelRolls on rolls on rolls.
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Loops are also a pretty common occurrence.
MattelLike, a ton of roads have them.
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There may be medals upon reaching your destination.
MattelBut only if you pulled off those awesome jumps.
Basically, driving is allll about having swag. I think.