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13 Reasons Hot Wheels Computer Games Are Better Than Drivers Ed

Everything you need to know.

I don't know about you, but when I was in high school, I had to take a six-month course on how to drive. We learned everything from how to accelerate onto the highway to how far away you need to park from a fire hydrant to how to not look like a complete dork in your license picture.

It was a good class. Unfortunately for my teacher, though, I've known everything I need to know about driving since I was as young as six years old. You see, I was a frequent player of "Hot Wheels: Stunt Track Driver," only the best PC driving game ever.

I learned everything I needed to know to get my license from that game, and now, you can too! Here are all the things that Hot Wheels computer games *definitely* taught you about driving.

  1. It's all about having a sweet ride.
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  2. And picking a boss road to drive down.
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    It's about the journey, not the destination.

  3. Might I suggest a mountain?
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    With a face on it!

  4. Watch out for animals!
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  5. Try to avoid crashing.
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    Unfortunately, in real life, your car doesn't recover this quick.

  6. Definitely don't slow down for turns.
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  7. If you go really fast, your car will be enveloped in sparks.
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    And it totally won't be weird or scary or dangerous.

  8. If you do something awesome, it may even start spurting fireworks.
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  9. Stop signs are not necessary.
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    Livin' on the edge.

  10. Sometimes, roads randomly end in mid-air.
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  11. So cue awesome flips.
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    Rolls on rolls on rolls.

  12. Loops are also a pretty common occurrence.
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    Like, a ton of roads have them.

  13. There may be medals upon reaching your destination.
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    But only if you pulled off those awesome jumps.

Basically, driving is allll about having swag. I think.