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Every Leonardo DiCaprio Role, Ranked By Facial Hair

Combing through DiCaprio's oeuvre, one beard at a time.

Happy birthday, Leonardo DiCaprio! The "Titanic" heartthrob turns 41 today, but he doesn't look a day over 20 — except, you know, when he has hair all over his face, which happens a lot these days.

Really, a fully-bearded DiCaprio was an impossible image to imagine during the days of "My Heart Will Go On," but it's par for the course in much of his current film work — so much so that we've reached the point where we can start grading his roles based on nothing else but his beard game.

In fact, let's do exactly that. Here's how the DiCaprio DiCatalogue looks when judging on absolutely no criteria other than DiFacial Hair:

  1. Clean-Shaven Modern Leo

    If it's a role in the 2000s and onward, and he's not rocking at least some sort of stubble game, then it's immediately at the bottom of the heap. Here's looking at you, Hoover.

  2. Teddy Daniels ("Shutter Island")

    I shudder at the sight of that stubble.

  3. Bill Costigan ("The Departed")

    The stubble is subtle, but it exists!

  4. Cobb ("Inception")

    Almost a real goatee, but not quite there… sort of like facial hair limbo, if you will.

  5. Danny Archer ("Blood Diamond")

    That's a true goatee. No wonder he got nominated for an Oscar for this role and not "Departed."

  6. Roger Ferris ("Body of Lies")

    We're entering "neard" territory — neck beard or near beard, take your pick. Point is, we're closing in on it!

  7. Calvin Candie ("Django Unchained")

    Awful guy. Awesome facial hair.

  8. Amsterdam Vallon ("Gangs of New York")

    This man wants vengeance, and you know he's a man because he has a beard.

  9. Howard Hughes ("The Aviator")

    Come in with the milk.

  10. Hugh Glass ("The Revenant")

    We don't need to see the movie to know this beard is the bread winner. Wow, Leo. Just wow.

  11. Pure Baby Face Leo

    Sorry, beards. Authentically smooth Leo was the best Leo and it's not close.