When Amy Schumer "joked" on Saturday night's (October 10) episode of "Saturday Night Live" that she was engaged to Bradley Cooper after a friendly interaction at a recent event, Cooper himself got a little annoyed -- and no, not because he was offended at the notion that he'd date Schumer, or even because he's actually dating model Irina Shayk. Instead, Cooper told "Access Hollywood" that he was pissed as hell... but only because he wanted to keep their undying love a secret.

"I thought it was gonna be a secret but she just decided to let the cat out of the bag," Cooper joked. "I texted with her after. I was like, 'That was hilarious.'"

But all jokes aside, the actor did use his time on the show to shut down an insidious rumor -- a rumor that he flat-out ignored Schumer, his frequent onscreen collaborator Jennifer Lawrence's bud, before the romance kicked in.

"The truth is, I remember, I met her and then she was on a talk show and made up some story that I pretended to avoid her," Cooper explained. "And when I saw her on the red carpet I was like, 'Hey man, you made up some bullsh-t story,' and she was like 'Oh I'm sorry.' So maybe she's making up for that now, cause I called her on it. I was like, 'Dude, what are you talking about?'"

Glad we've cleared that up, fam. And no disrespect to Shayk, but we're shipping #Bramy pretty hard right now.