Here’s How To Party Like Miley Cyrus: Miami Edition

Anyone else’s weekend look like Miley Cyrus’? Anyone? Bueller?

On Friday, Miley Cyrus swung her “Bangerz Tour” down to Miami, and, true to form, she — dramatic pause — came in like a wreeeeeecking baaaaaaall. Tapping into our God-given ESPN, we’re just gonna go ahead and assume that your weekend was a total snooze-fest compared to the “Adore You” singer’s. (OK, except for watching Lady Gaga’s new “G.U.Y.” video, because YAAAS.)

Don’t feel bad, though! Not everyone comes into this world with the instinctual ability to #turnup with Amazon Ashley, Mike WiLL Made It, an Emoji/hot dog/teddy bear-themed cake, and approximately 347 tongues in a 72-hour period, and that’s OK. It takes all kinds. Free to be you and me, amirite?

But, don’t feel limited by that incontrovertible fact of nature. Just study up on Miley’s #BienvenidoAMiami moment, and you’ll be the “It” girl/boy at every party. Or, at least you’ll be at the party, instead of workin’ on your night cheese at home. Baby twerks — er, we mean steps.

First, get dolled up so fresh and so clean (clean) on Friday night.

Gotta look your cutest for the lounge’s throwback photo booth!

Even if you discover said photos crumpled and torn up in your pocket on Saturday morning.

Round two! Hit the club with Amazon Ashley to celebrate your kickass tour on Saturday night.

Dance on top of the bar because you #CantBeTamed.

Remember to bring a snack: dried mango slices, granola, a $5,000 “Bangerz Tour” cake with sad-cat Emoji, tongues, foam fingers, and hot dogs on it, etc.

Sunday morning! Time to Netflix/Seamless that “fatigue” away…

…Because you’ve got “We Can’t Stop” producer Mike WiLL’s birthday to go to.


Photo credit: Pacific Coast News, @MileyCyrus, Miley Cyrus’ Instagram