Despite the revealing themes meditating on fame, love, perfection, and success, the most surprising aspect of the release is that literally NO ONE saw it coming. There was no promo. No announcements. No teasers. No nothing. Why? Because Beyoncé's a grown woman. Translation? SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
This literally comes on the heels of Bey's announcement yesterday that "The Mrs. Carter Show" World Tour would continue on into 2014, which seemed like a pretty good indicator to most people that we wouldn't get new material until March at the earliest. But, lo! She hath come to bless us with not only the heavenly goodness that is BEYONCÉ, but 17 fully fleshed out music videos to accompany the audio.
Wait, we need to lie down. We can't be the only ones feeling an overwhelming wave of relief, right? Remember that YouTube teaser that turned out to be a Pepsi commercial? The halftime show at the Super Bowl that merely yielded a Destiny's Child greatest hits album? (We love "Nuclear," obvs, but C'MON.) Version after version of "Grown Woman," "Standing On The Sun," and "God Made You Beautiful" hitting the Internet? IT'S ALL BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS. Good things come to those who wait, and the Bey Hive deserves all its newfound spoils.
Since it's really hard to even form words about Beyoncé's fifth studio album right now, we're gonna let the GIFs take over as we break down all the key moments from the visual album to rule them all. Long live the queen!
1.) When Beyoncé has to "pageant the pain away" in "Pretty Hurts" as she's scrutinized like a show pony.
2.) When Beyoncé serves multiple levels of Martha Graham realness in "Ghost."
Check out the rest of the key moments in all of Beyoncé's new music videos after the jump.
3.) When Beyoncé is "Haunted" by her image, and begins to crack under the pressures of her iconic status.
4.) When Beyoncé rejects perfection and lets loose on the sands of "Drunk In Love."
5.) When Beyoncé becomes a sensual, ethereal being of neon disco throwback light in "Blow."
6.) When Beyoncé proves she comes "with a side of trouble" in "No Angel."
7.) When you vicariously pore over every inch of Bey in the "Yoncé" clip. Thanks, model lady!
8.) When Beyoncé gives you a DAMN good reason to roll up the "Partition."
9.) When Beyoncé gets real mad and real "Jealous," smashing up her home out of insecurity.
10.) When Beyoncé... *gulp* Just watch "Rocket."
12.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Translation: When Beyonce rides Coney Island's Cyclone in "XO.")
13.) When Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie whips out that "***Flawless" feminist breakdown.
14.) When Beyoncé has her game face set in "Superpower." Like, AHHHHHH! WHATEVER WE DID, WE'RE SORRY.
15.) When Beyoncé breaks down in the church in "Heaven," rendering your mortal being a weeping pile of feels.
16.) When Beyoncé escapes the madness swirling in her head, finding peace with her daughter in "Blue."
17.) When you, the viewer, are found three weeks later with "Grown Woman" on repeat, dead from flawlessness. BYE.
+ Watch a supercut of all 17 new Beyoncé videos.
Photo credit: Columbia Records / GIFs: MTV