But we must bow down to Matt Stopera. This dude knows how to celebrate a pop star's birthday something proper. To honor Britney's birthday, Stopera took to Buzzfeed and unleashed his archive/treasure chest of Britney worship.
Stopera dug out some somewhat disturbing snaps of him and cardboard Brintey (above), a few pieces of Britney fan fic that he scribbled for actual school classes, and this mind-blowing Christmas card:
And to top it all off, Stopera unearthed some footage of his 14-year-old self appearing on the old MTV show Fanography (talking about Britney's chest, no less!).
It's truly an overwhelming (and... intense) birthday tribute. We salute you, Matt. Nobody does it better.