Do you like hotels? Do you like staying in them when you go on vacation, so you can enjoy their warm towels, fuzzy bathrobes, room service, and other amenities? Then please, for the love of Gaga, never watch the opening titles for "American Horror Story: Hotel," which uses creepy children, blood, aggressive mattresses, and even the Ten Commandments to effectively ruin the Four Seasons for everyone:

Pretty insane, no?

The credits don't reveal any "Hotel" characters, but that's not too surprising given that "Freak Show," "Coven," "Asylum," and "Murder House" also left out their actors in favor of classic horror imagery. Still, this is more than enough to render us excited and scared, Jessie Spano-style, for the series' Wednesday night (October 7) premiere.