Much like the battle between shampoo and conditioner, the battle between which Adam Sandler movie is the greatest of them all is an ongoing bloodbath. We don't have to settle that war today. Instead, let's lay down our arms and appreciate as many of the ridiculous Sandler movie one-liners as we possibly can.

In honor of Sandler turning 49 years young today, here are 19 of his movie quotes that are guaranteed to make you Happy:

"Oh really, fool?"

"REALLY!"

"You eat pieces of s—t for breakfast?"

"Gee, you know, that information really would have been more useful to me…"

"YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!"

"I don't want to go to jail!"

"I'm fragile!"

"Now that's what I call high quality H20!"

"I'm glad I called that guy."

"Scuba Steve!"

"Damn you!"

"Church tongue…"

"I like that!"

"Knibb High football rules!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, CLOWN!"

"Yeah…"

"I bet you know what it's like to get all riled up, Johnny Mac."

"You're my closest friend…"

"…and I don't even like you."

"Are you peeing…"

"…or is a diesel truck turning off?"

"You ain't cool…"

"…unless you pee your pants."

"Sir, one more outburst…"

"…and I will strangle you with my microphone wire."

"We wasted the good surprise on you!"

"You're the girl of my dreams…"

"…and apparently I'm the man of yours."

"Why don't you just go home?"

"Are you too good for your home??"

"Stay here."

"Stay as long as you can!"