Spinelli's 9 Sickest Burns From 'Recess'
Make no mistake, Ashley Spinelli was the baddest bitch on the playground back in the day. No other fourth grader kept it real like Spinelli. Our favorite tomboy often relied on her fists to get what she wanted, making her the most badass member of the "Recess" gang.
But as the gang proved time and time again, when push came to shove (literally), Spinelli's intimidation tactics were all just one big ruse because underneath it all, Spinelli had a heart of gold. That doesn't mean she didn't dole out some sick burns throughout her time on the playground. Let's take a look back at some of Spinelli's sickest burns:
"What's the matter? You got crayons in your ears? Get to the end of the line, Randall, before I give you the end of my fist!"
As the Ashleys would say, "Scandalous!"
"Get off our planet, alien scum!"
Spinelli knows that no one is to be trusted until they're properly vetted.
"You realize I may have to kill you after this."
Sure, maybe Spinelli was only trying to mask her swoon-worthy feelings for T.J. -- or MAYBE she'd really kill him.
"I would rather scarf down a dead bird!"
Same, tbh.
"What did you think I was going to do, cry?"
Spinelli doesn't cry; she suffers from allergies.
"He better help or he's gonna meet my good friend Madam Fist!"
You don't want to find out what her other fist is called. Trust us.
"Touch me with that and I'll break your arm."
She's being 100 percent serious.
"And I really wanna be a six-foot-tall bodybuilder named Moe, but we happen to live in a place called REALITY."
Spinelli is always around for a much-needed reality check. She keeps it 100.