First things first: we love Britney Spears. We want her to be happy and feel fulfilled, and we pray to the Holy Spearit every day that she will one day find the perfect man for her and her family.
That being said, it must be stated that single Britney is a f--king HOOT. In a move that proves she’s the reigning patron saint of single women everywhere, Brit asserted her manless pride during her “Piece of Me” Las Vegas residency show over the weekend.
It all began with a sweaty, seductive rendition of “I’m a Slave 4 U,” after which Brit dramatically exclaimed, “I get so wet time every time I do that! It’s so annoying!” And really, who can blame her? Diehard Brit fans will probably recognize in the video below that she busts out the same amazing choreography as she did in the song’s original music video, proving she’s still very much the OG pop princess.
Anyway, before transitioning into “Freakshow,” Britney paused to lay same down real talk about the single life.
“Being single for a year has been very, very, very profound,” she told the crowd. “And I feel like all men should suck… my… toe!”
YAS QUEEN, YAS.
Of course, it’s worth pointing out that Britney and her most recent boyfriend, Charlie Ebersol, actually broke up in June after eight months of dating. Sooo… maybe she just forgot about him? Her beau before Ebersol was David Lucado, whom she split with a year ago this month, so we’ll just assume she’s not counting Charlie at all (mad shade; sorry, dude).
Then, instead of picking a guy to be her S&M plaything during “Freakshow,” like she usually does, Brit decided to pull a female audience member onstage. You know, to hammer home the point that girls truly rule.
"That's why I think we should get a girl up here, right? I think so too! I love girls, right? They're so beautiful. Oh my god, they're so pretty!” she said, not-so-subtly promoting “Pretty Girls” in the process.
Take note, girls of the world: THIS is how you own the single life.