With reporting by Nicole Pajer

First dates are pretty much always a little weird, even under the best of circumstances. But when things go really start to go south? Yeah, that's the stuff that nightmares are made of.

And even though "Trainwreck" revolves around an unlikely coupling gone right, the movie's stars have plenty of beans to spill when it comes to their history of rinse-and-repeating it up in the dirty dating cycle.

The cast of the comedy pic, which hits theaters on Friday (July 17) sat down to share a chapter from their their personal dating horror storybooks with MTV News, and we are mortified for each and every one of them because YIKES.

First, there was Amy Schumer's account of being the bad dater rather than datee. Because of course she was.

"I went out with a guy - he was on the basketball team when I was in college, and he asked me to go to dinner. And I was like very poor," she explained. "I went out, got the dinner, ate a lot. I ordered extra, so I could bring it home in a doggy bag, and I was like ‘I’m so full. I have to go home.’ And it was really just about the free dinner." Ouch! She could've at least sprung for the tip, no?

Meanwhile, Bill Hader had pretty much the exact opposite experience of Schumer's, because he went out with a girl once that declared in big bold print that she was not interested in him whatsoever, free meal or none.

"I went on a date once with a girl, and I thought it was going to be a date, and she sat down and she had a jacket on. When she took her jacket off, she was wearing a shirt that said ‘This is not a date,'" he remembered. "I went, ‘What’s up with that shirt?’ And she was like, ‘I don’t know.’ ... So, I went ‘Well, let’s not do this.’ And she was like, ‘Oh, okay.’ And then I left." So, so painful.

And finally, there's nothing like making a first impression with a little vom on your shirt (and probably breath), right? And that was Vanessa Bayer's contribution to the bad date pool.

"I was matching the guy drink for drink on wine, and he was a much bigger person than me. And then we went to this bar, and I immediately threw up in the only sink in the ladies room. And then he was like, ‘I think you should go home,’" said Bayer.

"He took me back to my dorm room, and I was like, ‘No, you should hang out.’ And he left, and I woke up and realized there was throw up all over me." Wow, yuck. It's like, "How about some upchuck for a nightcap, guy?" and he's like "Um, how about NO."