You bounce around from low-paying job to low-paying job. You don’t have a washing machine. You do have a selfie stick. Your twenties are all about making mistakes.

By making those mistakes, though, you discover what -- and, maybe more importantly, who -- you want in life. Because of that, the road to your thirties is paved with a list of guys who are more embarrassing than that time you accidentally wore granny panties with tight pants. Here are some of your probable, regrettable temporary bedfellows this decade.

The Musician

You’ll come for his good looks and stay for hours and hours of band practice. What this guy has in the seductive power of strumming strings, he lacks in the ability to talk about anything other than himself and his inevitable future as a rock star. Because of him, you’ll learn about a few good bands and get one bad tattoo. Then, one day, you’ll drop him off at a gig and never come back.

The “Big Deal” Assistant

Fresh off an impressive turn as a hotshot intern, this guy hasn’t gotten the memo that he’s no longer the big deal that he was in college. You’d guess, based on his cocky attitude, that he’s saving the free world or running a fleet of Black Hawk helicopters, but he’s actually just a glorified errand boy.

Don’t expect to get many nice dinners out of him, though -- most of his meager income will be spent on overpriced clothes and a car that he thinks makes him look important. Because that works.

The Freeloader

He will lure you in with his awesome sense of humor and the fact that “I don't care about acquiring material objects.” You’ll quickly learn that he actually meant to say, “I don't care about acquiring material objects myself,” after you’ve footed the bill for every meal, drink and drop of gas that you guys go through together.

You’ll have one awkward night when you realize you’re crashing on a couch that someone else is crashing on, and the relationship will die more quickly than the cell phone he didn’t pay the bill for.

The Pathological Liar

The problem with this one is that you won’t realize you’ve been tricked until it’s too late. He’ll tell you that he’s sick, and you’ll find pictures of him at a sick party. He’ll tell you it’s over with his ex, and you’ll look over his shoulder to find flirty texts with her. He’ll tell you he loves you and ... you get the picture. Now get the hell out of there.

The Philosopher

Few things are more attractive than a man with some substance between his ears, and you’ll be immediatly into whatever Nietsche quote this smoldering sexpot is putting out there. You’ll soon learn, though, that listening to someone’s verbal masturbation for hours on end is a Kafka-eque hell, and you’ll come to your senses and find a nice boy who talks about things that are truly mindblowing. Like cheese pizza.

The Super Vegan

He’s thoughtful! He’s conscientious! He loves animals! This guy will seem like a grade-A piece of soy meat, until you’ve spent your third consecutive Friday in a row watching documentaries about animal rights and eating something called tempeh bacon. When he chides you for dumping a compotsable item in the regular trash, you’ll know it’s time to dump him too.

The Anger Management Case

He will seem so calm and cool until you make the mistake of riding in the car with him, and you have to ask whether it’s really necessary to flip someone off for not going 85 mph in a residential neighborhood. No matter how good this ball of anger is in bed, you’ll immediately realize that you can’t have a spark with a live wire.

The Older Man

He’s been divorced and knows about exotic things like wine and the '80s. Being with him will make you feel young and adorable, but being with his sad commitment issues will make you feel like you deserve better than this -- and you do. Get your things out of his sports car and then find a dude your age to make mistakes with.