Space sounds awesome, doesn't it? Stars, undiscovered stuff, moon dust. Also, if the recently released pictures from the set of "The Martian" are to be believed, Matt Damon, just waiting for you to come and hang out with him.
Yeah, space sounds like the place to be. Except that it totally isn't. Why does Lance Bass want to go there so bad? Matt Damon is all alone in "The Martian," and he's not the only one who had a no-good, very bad time in space. This isn't even his first time having a bad space trip in recent years! Why did you go back, Matt? Why?
These seven movies have me super convinced that I'm doing just fine by staying here on Earth. Space travel? No thanks to the hella degree.
In space, no one can hear you scream and also Eric Bana wants to kill you in multiple dimensions. I don't want to fight Eric Bana! He looks strong and mad! Same goes for you, Benedict Cumberbatch.
Sandra Bullock's character seems really, really, really smart, and her breaking point is hearing a dog bark on a space radio. Considering how flustered I get when the Starbucks guy repeats my name back to me wrong, I would not do well in this situation.
I first saw "Apollo 13" when I was young enough that I didn't really follow so well, other than an overwhelming sense of NOPE. And guess what? I'm still not over it.
There's a CASE robot in "Interstellar." CASE robot's experiences are harrowing enough that human person Kase doesn't need to go too. I am also not confident that my relationship with Jessica Chastain is strong enough for her to help me survive.
Animal crackers are not a good enough prize for this trauma. Never. Going. To. Space.
Do you really need more of a reason? Really?
If you've seen this one, you know. NO THANK YOU. Not even Sam Rockwell can save us!