We're sure Zac Efron has received his fill of poetic fan mail, but the actor took to Twitter the other day to post a truly unexpected throwback: five beautifully revealing rhythmic paragraphs written about him by none other than his brother, Dylan.

"When your dad goes through your little bro's old homework and finds a gem: Poem by Dylan, 6th grade #abrotherlything," wrote Efron, above an embed of the (IMO) Pulitzer-worthy piece.

How do we love thee for this saucy, hilarious masterpiece, Dylan? Let us count the ways...

STANZA 1: Being a movie star is, apparently, not a job. Note to Hollywood!

STANZA 2: Probably don't ever let Zac Efron babysit.

STANZA 3: Was he smiling because his brother showed up at his game or because it was hilarious to watch him getting mobbed by fans in the crowd? #SubtextThoughts

STANZA 4: But what kind of advice? Our minds are reeling!

STANZA 5: How does one fight without getting hurt ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

We propose "A Brotherly Thing 2," wherein these questions are answered and a slew of new revelations are thrust upon us, all in iambic pentameter. You can do it, Dylan...we believe in you!