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How Will 'Mad Men' End? Twitter Is Guessing, And The Results Are Hysterical

So much better than that D.B. Cooper theory.

In case you've been dwelling beneath a giant, airtight bell jar, the "Mad Men" finale is tonight (May 17) -- that's the series finale, not just a season finale -- so today people are throwing all their noodles at the wall trying to predict what will become of Dick Whitman aka Don Draper (aka Jon Hamm) and his pack of chain-smoking smarties on Madison Ave.

Some people think he's going to close it out with full ownage of his true identity, while others suspect he'll take on another alias and launch himself from an airplane.

The race to get it right is so intense among the "Mad Men" faithful, some people are even trying to peg down which song'll close out the show that catapulted AMC into super-relevance. This is serious business, guys.

But leave it to the Twitter tweeps to drive this Caddy in a whole other direction and leave us cackling like Roger on a three drink morning. Which is a very Don Draper-esque thing to do.

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First of all, there's this dude, who sees what kind work DickDon might actually be suited for (emphasis on the suit bit there, har) next.

And then this fellow who joke-expects him to go straight off the deep end and into the nightmarish hellscape of "True Detective." Because WOW.

Plus, well, there's this kid who might just have this thing figured out.

Meanwhile we like where this guy's head is at. 'Cause DD is an ad man for life, playette!

And then there's the whole Don Draper is Jon Hamm line of thinking, which is crazy enough to maybe actually work.

Then we have this one, which pretty much just speaks for itself. Ghost army. This girl is killing the game.

Also, this evil genius saw the potential for a "Muppets" crossover and then we realized that "Sesame Street" first debuted in 1969 and our minds were suddenly blown to bits.

Finally, there's this fourth wall breakdown idea that involves Jon Hamm winking so say no more.

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The "Mad Men" series finale, titled "Person to Person," airs tonight on AMC at 10/9c.