Today it was announced that the classic prank series "Punk'd" is coming back to television on the BET channel. Sounds pretty rad, but you know what that also means -- pranks won't just be an April Fool's Day annoyance anymore. Now every single one of your dumb friends who think they're as brilliant as Ashton Kutcher will be inspired to punk you again at the worst possible moments of your life.
But there is hope, dear friends! You can successfully navigate the treacherous waters of prankery using our tried and true (and admittedly very paranoid) methods.
Don't Click On Any Links.
"Hey check our this cool video!" Nice try, INTERNET. Not gonna get jump scared or Rick Rolled today.
Don't Use A Toilet Without Proper Inspection.
Time was the bathroom used to be sacred ground, until some genius perfected the practice of cling wrapping under the seat. Make sure that trick doesn't get pulled on you.
Bring Your Own Straws Everywhere.
The benefits of this are twofold: one, you don't look like an idiot sipping of a straw that someone's rigged to leak everywhere. Two, you now have a signature straw look, which is essential to creating a brand for yourself.
Never Accept Food From Anyone.
Best case scenario, it could be food disguised as a food you do not, like meatloaf cupcakes. Worst case scenario, it's a pop-up snake disguised as peanut brittle. Maybe just bring your own lunch to work.
Do Not Give Up Control Of The Remote Under Any Circumstances
It's all fun and games until somebody starts blasting the volume too loud while you're napping and your eardrums are permanently damaged.
Speaking of which...
Always Be The Last Person To Fall Asleep.
Crashing at your friend's place? Make sure their head hits the pillow before yours. Snuggling with your SO? Keep your eyes open until theirs aren't. On an airplane? Good luck, buddy. It'll be worth the exhaustion in the long run.
Take Off Shoes The Second You Enter A House.
Can’t fall asleep with your shoes on if you never have them on, right? Just make sure you also properly inspect your shoes BEFORE you put them back on, in case that's how your friends try to get you.
Always Log Out Of Everything.
Even your own personal devices! Can't take the chance that someone will use them to steal your identity and tell all your Facebook friends about that you're a giant poop.
Check Everyone's Credentials.
From Walmart employees to police officers, you can never tell when one of your friends has hired someone to mess with you. Perform rigorous background checks on everyone you meet and this won't be a problem.
Don't Make New Friends Online.
That hottie you're chatting up over Twitter is probably your best friend in disguise. Best not risk it.
Keep Everything Locked At All Times.
Don't have a password on your phone? That is just asking for trouble.
Stop Forging Human Connections.
If no one knows you, then no one can hurt you.
Shouldn't be too hard for the rest of your life, right?