Just when you think "Game of Thrones" has no way left to make your skin crawl, enter "High Sparrow" and they find no ways of creeping you out all over again. Here's our rundown of all the big moments that made us lose our head (in more ways than one):
Don't Matter If You're [House Of] Black Or WhiteHBO
The episode opens inside the House of Black and White, with Arya (Maisie Williams) witnessing a man getting killed by the water in a central fountain -- a detail that definitely won't come into play later in the season, I'm sure -- by his own choice. Arya complains to Jaqen H'ghar that she's been sweeping floors and that's it, but H'ghar defers... For now.
The thing that's most fascinating about this? The set looks exactly how it was described in the books. Some sets have taken liberties here and there, but Oreo House looks like it jumped off the page, which is insane.
Arya later plays "The Game Of Faces" with her roommate, which seems about on par with bloody knuckles as the worst game of all time, and gets chided by H'ghar for hanging on to all of her things. And there's a moment where we think she'll actually lose all vestiges of her old life, except for one old friend: Needle, she keeps hidden in a pile of rocks.
Is it weird that, of almost all the characters on the show at this point, losing Arya's tiny sword might have hurt the most?
The Rad WeddingHelen Sloan/courtesy HBO
For the first time in the history of "Game of Thrones," a wedding creeped us out not because of horrifying deaths... But because of a reeeeeeally uncomfortable sex scene. Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) get married without incident, but then they cut to the aftermath of their first night together.
Not to dwell on the books, but Tommen is much younger there than here, so Margaery pushes off their first "night" together for grossness reasons. Here, sure, the sex scene is tamer than most the show has done before -- and Tommen is older -- but IRL Chapman is 17, and Dormer is 33. That's illegal in some states, though I guess not Westeros.
Anyway, this leads to one of the most fascinating dynamics of the episode, as both Margaery and Cersei (Lena Headey) try to manipulate Tommen to get rid of the other. Except unlike in the books where Margaery wins over Tommen by giving him a cat, in the show she gives him a... Well, you can fill in the word that also sometimes means cat.
And she's clearly got the upper hand, as Margaery rips Cersei a new one ("I wish we had some wine for you, it's a bit early in the day for us," she says dripping with sarcasm), winning over the court and the people. Only problem, Margaery hasn't compensated for the fact that Cersei doesn't play the game the way anyone else does. She would rather burn the board to the ground than see anyone else win.
Home On The StrangeHelen Sloan/courtesy HBO
In one of the more uncomfortable changes of mind in the history of the show, Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) convinces Sansa (Sophie Turner) that she should head back to Winterfell and marry Ramsay Bolton, the man who helped kill most of her family. It's unclear whether Littlefinger truly has Sansa -- and the realm's -- best interests at heart, even though he clearly has affection for her.
However, the idea that she might be in prime position to take revenge for the Red Wedding is kind of incredible. And though we were iffy about Brienne's (Gwendoline Christie) choice to go after Sansa last episode, this week it actually seems like Brienne now will be at the place she can be the most help... You have a number of characters and plotlines coming together at Winterfell (including Stannis' army, as we find out shortly), and it seems like we're headed for a climactic showdown with no clear side; and given this show, we can guess no clear winner.
Still, it's nice, after all this time, to be back at the place the show started.
Shortest Lord Commander-ship Ever?HBO
Poor Jon Snow (Kit Harington). He's just been elected Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, and he may have already lost control. In a show of power egged on by Stannis (Stephen Dillane), Jon nominates Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter) to essentially be exiled as far from Castle Black as possible. It's a strategic move guaranteed to force an angry reaction from Slynt, and he delivers with insurrection. So Jon chops his head off in front of everyone.
Jon at this point has shown his power, his control, and his willingness to do anything to uphold the law... But before this he had the hearts of the Night's Watch as well as their loyalty. Like Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) last episode, who essentially lost Meereen by chopping the head off a slave for what was "right," Jon may have also lost his short rule, too.
The High SparrowMacall B. Polay/courtesy HBO
Remember that whole, "burn everything to the ground" thing we were talking about earlier? The High Septon of King's Landing is dragged out in front of everyone naked from a brothel by the Sparrows, a religious order with no tolerance for sin. Seeing a way of building her own power, Cersei reaches out to the High Sparrow, a seemingly humble man who gave his own shoes to someone who needed them. We've yet to see how this all plays out, but when has anything Cersei done actually improved the quality of life? Anywhere?
Add in whatever is going on under Qyburn's blanket, and Cersei's plans are about to blow up more than the new hit single, "We Blowin' Up," by Xplosion And The Dynamitez.
Goodbye, Half ManHelen Sloan/HBO
Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) manages to convince Varys (Conleth Hill) to let him out of their cart for a little bit, and Tyrion proceeds to get drunk of course. He also tries -- and fails -- to sleep with a prostitute. He's still not over the death of Shae, as well as killing his own father. Anguished, he pees out of a window, only to be kidnapped... By Joran Mormont (Iain Glen).
Knowing -- or thinking -- that Tyrion is at least partially responsible for Dany's exile, and not realizing Tyrion is headed her way anyway, Jorah stuffs him in a sack and takes him as a peace offering to his Khaleesi. This, like everything else, will definitely turn out well.