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These Emma Stone And Andrew Garfield Breakup Rumors CAN’T Be Real, Right?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Inhale. Exhale. Now repeat after me: “Everything is going to be OK.” Once you’re calm, proceed…

An utterly devastating report is circulating that World’s Cutest Couple Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are dunzo. Or rather, they’re “taking some time apart to figure things out.”

Before you get too invested in mourning this news, bear in mind that the report comes to us from Star Magazine via an anonymous source, and should be thus be taken with grains upon grains of salt.

That being said, the source supposedly told Star, “It’s clear they’ve drifted apart. It’s an unspoken issue, but everybody knows they are on hold.”

I have a few questions about this. First of all, who is this “source” who’s supposedly weaseled his/her way into Emma and Andrew’s notoriously private love life? And WTF does she know about their chaotic and so-called "conflicting" schedules?

Apparently, the source in question had a major issue with the fact that Emma, 26, flew solo to the Golden Globes and Oscars earlier this year. “Andrew was filming, but he could have gotten away if he really wanted to,” the mystery mole said. “The fact was, neither of them wanted to plaster on a smile and pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t.”

Even if that’s true, it’s also important to remember that Andrew’s movie in question is being filmed in Taiwan, which is pretty f—king far away. Something tells me Emma is the kind of compassionate girlfriend who would understood if it was too much hassle for him to fly halfway around the world for yet another red carpet event. I mean, c’mon, it’s a 14-hour flight from Taiwan to Los Angeles. I know because I googled it.

VH1’s “Gossip Table” also pointed out that the couple haven’t been spotted together in public for a few months. Again, that whole “shooting a movie on another continent” thing might have a little something to do with that, but there’s also the fact that Emma and Andrew have a well-documented history of evading pesky paparazzi.

Or maybe I’m just grasping straws here and trying to hang on to every last morsel of hope that this dream couple isn’t really dunzo. They’ve been dating for three whole years! And he once called her literal “sunshine!” HOW CAN THAT NOT BE A LOVE THAT LASTS FOREVER? Also, I’m secretly hoping that if they win Best Kiss at this year’s MTV Movie Awards, they’ll reenact their super sweet smooch from “The Amazing Spider-Man 2.”

So. Any other insider sources wanna come out of the woodwork and put this issue to rest once and for all? If so, drop a line in the comments. Otherwise, I’m smooth-sailing on Denial River.

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