There's a few constants in this world: death, taxes, and that if there's a big secretive movie, you'll get your first good look at it through the toys during Toy Fair in New York City. And since we were already being treated to everything from "Jurassic World" to "Avengers: Age Of Ultron," it stood to reason that this would also be the giant coming out party for the December 18 debuting "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."
Particularly with big companies like LEGO and Hasbro showing off their goods for the coming year, surely we'd finally see more on Kylo Ren and company. Well, get ready, because here is the biggest, boldest look at "Episode VII" on display at Toy Fair:
Yup, that's right: a tiny little sign promising that LEGO would be showing off "Star Wars" merch at a later date. And before you get mad at the block-builder, we should note that everyone from Hasbro to Entertainment Earth had even less: just a wall, with a logo for the movie. That's it.
At Hasbro's big blow-out event on February 14, you could even feel the tension in the room when the "Star Wars" reps went up to present. They teased that the movie was coming out at the end of the year, talked about the history of the lightsaber -- including Kylo Ren's controversial hilted blade -- and played mercilessly with expectations by saying, "here's what we've all been waiting for... Furbys."
And while the Furbys were cute, when the presentation ended with a promise that they'd talk about "The Force Awakens" at a later date, you could physically see a grumble of discontent in the air.
So what gives? It's no secret that "Star Wars" has always been fueled by toy sales, so why would the upcoming sequel be any different? Heck, if you go with the conspiracy theories, that's the only reason Disney is making the movie, but we digress.
There's actually a very simple reason that the toys aren't being shown off yet, and it's one that was confirmed after talking to company reps while at Toy Fair. It's because we haven't seen more of the movie yet.
Well, of course we haven't right? But that's the new way of the world. As recently as a few years ago, movie blogs and websites started mining events like Toy Fair for secrets about upcoming movies. Even if the companies put "do not photograph" signs up, or put the product behind closed doors, first looks at characters and plots would often get out through the toys themselves.
Then the companies got smarter. They decided to wait to put the toys out until the first full trailer hit; and in the case of "Star Wars," we've only gotten 88 seconds of footage, most of that darkness with voice over. Instead, we were told multiple times that as far as any company knows the toys will be revealed, but after the first full trailer hits later this year.
Believe us, as fans of "Star Wars" we were dying to know more, too. But with Lucasfilm coordinating all the toy companies behind the scenes to release every bit of info simultaneously, that info is coming. Just not at Toy Fair.
So remain clam. The movie is still over 300 days away. Don't get angry. Because anger, as you know, is the path to the Dark Side. And try to remember, in the words of Mark Hamill himself: "it's just a movie."