Focus Features

17 Ways Christian Grey And Batman Are Basically The Same Person

The Dark Knight loves dishing out pain, if not quite 'Fifty Shades' style.

Christian Grey, the sexy mystery man at the heart of "Fifty Shades of Grey," has a lot in common with another popular sexy mystery man: Batman.

Really, Christian Grey is basically Batman, except instead of waging a war on crime, he wages a war on your hormones. Hear us out:

  1. They both suffered a life-altering tragedy at a young age.

    Batman lost his parents, Christian Grey lost his mom. Both traumas changed both men forever.

  2. They're both industry tycoons by day.

    Batman runs Wayne Enterprises. Christian runs Grey Enterprises. Jean-Luc Picard runs the U.S.S. Enterprise but that's neither here nor there.

  3. But by night…

    They're both participating in certain, shall we say, "physical pursuits."

  4. Their arsenals are stacked.

    Where did Batman get all of his wonderful toys? Not the same place as Christian Grey, I can promise you that!

  5. They both drive cool cars.

    Batmobile versus Christian's fleet of sick rides. You be the judge.

  6. They both fly, too.

    Helicopter is no Bat-Wing, but it'll do.

  7. They show up everywhere without invitation.

    It's Batman's business to be all up in your business. Likewise for Christian Grey, who has no problem showing up at a family vacation he's totally not invited to.

  8. Their technological means are beyond normal comprehension.

    Batman uses tracking devices to locate his enemies. Christian Grey uses tracking devices to stalk super-drunk Anastasia at a bar.

  9. They both use intimidation as weapons.

    "Swear to me," says Batman. It takes on a different meaning when Christian says it.

  10. They're constantly lost in thought.

    "How will I deal out the pain today," he wonders aloud. But which he?

  11. Both men punish the guilty.

    Which one is the harsher adjudicator? Depends on how you get your jollies.

  12. When you're bad, they can't keep their fists off of you.

    Unless you've removed that whole fist thing from the contract, of course.

  13. Both men are dominants.

    And you. Will. SUBMIT.

  14. Both men are addicted to their night-time obsessions.

    "I wish I knew how to quit you," he cries after a long night of butt-whipping. BUT WHICH HE?

  15. They're focused beyond belief.

    One-track mind, these guys.

  16. They cannot be stopped.

    And we wouldn't even dream of trying.

  17. Oh, and they're both named Christian.

    Kinda. ;)