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Imposter! Draco Malfoy Is Actually A Gryffindor (And J.K. Rowling Knew It All Along)

Who ARE you, even?

Sounds like the Sorting Hat may have to go back to the magical milliner for a tune-up, because a lethal sorting error has been revealed.

Draco Malfoy, notorious "Harry Potter" kid villain, mini Death Eater and Slytherin kingpin... Is actually A GRYFFINDOR.

Like Harry Potter himself, would-be murder victim Albus Dumbledore (RIP) and (gasp) Ron Weasley, Malfoy should be donning that scarlet and gold and roaring like a lion or whatever it is that Gryffindors do to show their house spirit. (Defeat evil and come up with half-thought-out plans that end up working out in the end anyway? Sounds about right.)

Well, Tom Felton should, at least.

The actor, who portrayed flaxen-haired vixen Malfoy in all eight of the "Harry Potter" films, tweeted about the revelation of his true house colors.

Author J.K. Rowling, of course, claimed that she knew it all along. (Just like she knew that the last word of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" would be "scar," right? Scowl.)

IT WAS ALL A LIE, TOM.