The sore feet. The endless lines. The nonsensical question of which identical shirt "you like better." As the holiday shopping season approaches and dudes across the country prepare to be held hostage at food courts and lotion stores, they and their captors will relate to Instagram account @Miserable_Men and the glimpse it offers into dismayed, abandoned males across the world.

Mutiny is imminemt

Why not make the whole mall out of beanbag chairs?

You may take my time, but you'll never take my dignity

Dad. Dad. Why are you crying? Dad...?

I guess I just live on this floor now

United we sit

You've done it. You've ruined the idea of snowboarding for me.

Resistance. Is. Futile.

Man down.

Fall asleep at the mall? You may be placed in the pink shoes of shame...

Maybe if I can get all the blood to rush to my head, she'll let me go home?

We're just sittin' here watching our phones go round and round

Dude. Dude. Watch out.

I'm bringing sleepy back

A man's gotta know when it's time to hang up his hat

I'm ridiculous?! Tell me about buying 37 scented candles again

I've survived two wars and the Great Depression, but this... this might be the end of me

Looks great. Yes. I'm sure. Also, I've lost feeling in my butt and arms.

There, there. Dream of a magical land with real couches and not a sale in sight.

Ah yes, there's a real couch

Welcome to the rest of your life, kid.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK

Ho ho ho? No. No. No.