Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" successfully merged the world of haute cuisine and accessible, home cooking by emphasizing the importance of a few fundamental techniques.

Beating the sh** out of Fruity Pebbles with a wooden mallet wasn't one of them.

On tonight's "Snack-Off" episode, three amateur cooks battled it out for top honors -- the coveted Golden Spork -- as part of the show's "After After Party" episode. In one heat, they had to make a snack that'd be perfectly fitting for a 3 a.m. binge, and in another, they pulled out all the stops to create a dish that emphasized the beauty of America's favorite ladyfinger, the Twinkie.

Some entrees, like pina colada-infused French Toast, didn't fly, but others, like tater tot-injected croquettes, soared. Either way, we got eyefulls of some...interesting...cooking methods along the way.

Check out five Anti-"Art of Cooking' techniques from tonight's episode!

Pouring jelly into scrambled eggs with cheese in them:

Blending chicken from a days-old take-out bucket:

Pouring vodka into doughnuts that you squished into doughnut balls:

Beating breakfast cereals into oblivion:

Wrapping raw bacon around a Twinkie: