With the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards fast approaching, there's just one thing on my mind: Britney Spears' iconic "Slave 4 U" performance at the 2001 VMAs. That historically significant moment of #TBT perfection is kind of always on my mind TBQH, but whatever -- let's discuss!

There's so much worth analyzing about Brit's set that I felt morally compelled to make a video detailing all of the life-changing questions it raises for me. Like, how is her body so flawless? Is such an ab situation even physically possible for us mere mortals? How did her costume not fall off mid-performance? Was there sorcery involved? Glue? Did America collectively will those scarves and glitter appliqués onto Britney using some beta-test version of "The Secret"? And what does Banana the python think about all this 13 years later?

I can't stop, and I won't stop obsessing over Britney's #VMATBT. Now, watch me!

Can you blame me for freaking out? Like, look at Britney move!

And check out Banana the snake! This fearless legend.

Forever iconic. Queen!

Don't agree with me? Take this poll. Also, HOW DARE YOU.

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