One year after her son's death, Cory Monteith's mother is speaking out publicly for the first time.
Sitting down with ABC News in her hometown of Vancouver, Ann McGregor, opened up about her late son, who she called "baby bear," and his tragic, untimely death.
"In the last few days, I'm beginning to accept it, the loss is horrendous," she said when asked how she was feeling. "Until three days ago, I couldn't look at a picture of Cory, so there's been progress."
The "Glee" star died on July 13, 2013, of “a mixed drug toxicity, involving heroin and alcohol,” at the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel in Vancouver. It is a night that Cory's mom, understandably, still can barely talk about.
At the time of his death, Cory was dating his "Glee" co-star Lea Michele, who Ann still keeps in touch with.
"She texts me and emails me," McGregor said. "She's hurting too; you see the sadness, I know her pain."
During the emotional sit-down, McGregor talked about Cory's struggle with drugs and alcohol, revealing that he started getting into trouble at the age of 15. Monteith tried again to get his substance abuse issues under control when he checked himself into rehab in March of 2013.
"[When] Cory was 15, he did a code blue, and I think that was the turning point," she explained. "He had a lot of emotional things he was trying to figure out -- lot of it was he really wanted a relationship with his father. I think when a child gets invalidated, they keep reaching even harder. They want to find out why."
She continued, "I remember after Cory's first O.D., after the drive we took, and all I did was stare into his eyes and hug him and look at him because I had this feeling I wasn't going to have him my entire life. "
McGregor said she doesn't blame Hollywood for Cory's struggle, because it was "his choice," but does get some satisfaction knowing how much talent her son had.
"Pretty amazing," she said. "I'm still in awe, always will be."