Ten years ago, "The Notebook" breezed into movie theaters... and promptly destroyed the relationships of 95% of its viewing audience, as ladies everywhere turned to their boyfriends and said, "Why haven't you ever threatened to fall off a Ferris wheel in order to win my love?!!"

Sorry, dudes. You never had a chance. Once we got an eyeful of Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling), a.k.a. the blue-collar hothead hero with an impeccable smile and washboard abs, a.k.a. the most unattainably perfect movie paramour ever to grace the silver screen, the bar for boyfriending jacked up to eleven, never to descend again.

And today, on the ten-year anniversary of "The Notebook," we're bringing you an homage to the man who made us realize that love isn't really love unless it incorporates conflict, drama, beards, yelling, vintage bathing suits, burned bridges, and illicit tear-stained sexual intercourse on the floor of an antebellum mansion. What makes Noah such a keeper?

He makes emotional blackmail look downright adorable.

He understands the laws of attraction.

He's an excellent amateur psychologist.

When you're scared, he offers gentle encouragement.

He's fabulously coordinated.

He can row angstily better than 99% of the dudes on the planet.

He's totally on board with your "Otherkin" lifestyle.

He put "violent face-mashing in the rain" on everybody's bucket list.

He's not afraid to ask the tough questions.

When you disagree, he's very reasonable about it.

He knows the status of your relationship... and that ground-ruled double.

He can easily lift large objects.

He'll be whatever you want him to be. A cat, a taco, a wiffle ball; just say the word, baby, and he'll be it.

And of course, there's the small matter of this face.

And this face.

Basically, all of the faces. As if anyone could measure up after this.

Bonus: This.