Crowning A Bearded Drag Queen Was The Least Shocking Thing At Eurovision 2014

Eurovision. Wow.

The annual Eurovision song contest is weird. Like, supremely, unbelievably, too-odd-for-words weird.

Like, this band won in 2006.

For real.

And these grannies were in it to win it in 2012.

But this year’s contest made serious headlines when what was expected to be the tense song battle between the Russian and Ukranian entrants took a back seat to Conchita Wurst, a 25-year-old drag queen with a well-manicured 5 o’clock shadow from Austria. Conchita (the onstage drag persona of Thomas Neuwirth) crushed the competition with her song “Rise Like a Phoenix,” which chronicled her journey from a closeted young boy in a mountain village to a glamorous worldwide superstar overnight.

But here’s the thing, while the NFL’s still fighting against bias when it comes to its first openly gay draftee, Michael Sam, the glam, elegant Conchita made headlines, but wasn’t even the most surprising entry into this year’s finals. So, here are a few of our favorite Eurovision eye-poppers:

1. There Was Pollaponk From Iceland

Pollaponk Anadolu Agency

2. Romania’s Ovi And His Magic Circular Keyboard

Ovi WireImage/Ragnar Singsaas

3. And This Duo, Who Were Conjoined At The Ponytail

Anastasia and Maria WireImage/Ragnar Singsaas

4. Luckily, The Ukraine Brought Their Hamster Wheel

Mariya Yarmechuk of the Ukraine Getty Images/Ragnar Singsaas

5. What, Exactly, Does An Electrified Butter Churn Sound Like?

A Polish dancer performs with Donatan & Cleo AFP/Jonathan Nackstrand

6. This Dude’s Hair, Seriously, Nice Work

Lorent Idir of France's Twin Twin Getty Images/Ragnar Singsaas

I'm so fancy.