The dudes of One Direction are kind of like potato chips -- you can't just have one.
However, one of my compatriots here at MTV News has forced my hand by identifying Liam Payne as the best of the 1D clan when the best is clearly not Liam Payne at all but Harry Styles.
Harry of the hair. Harry of the tats. Harry of the copious opportunities for tears. Are you mad, Emilee Lindner? Have you not eyes?
As you are apparently walking around with your head swaddled in one of Liam's plaid shirts, allow me to show you the way, illuminating via that very journalistic tool known as GIFs why Hazza haz it all:
He Loves His Family
Harry just loves his family so much. Despite being a HUGE pop star, he has said that the speech that he made at his mom's wedding was "the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done." Cue the "awwws."
Tattoo ink is thicker than water, which is thicker than blood -- or something.
And Those Tats...
Everyone knows that bad boys have tattoos and bad boys are a good decision.
His 'Worst' Habit Is Getting Naked
Apparently, Harry can't keep his clothes on. This is not a problem for anyone -- except maybe for law enforcement officials.
More is always better.
He's A Major Clean Freak
A hot, tatted dude who enjoys dust-busting? Is there really anything better? Glue a kitten to his face, staple some bacon to his chest, and we're GONE.
He Loves To Cry!
Everyone loves a man who's not afraid to cry. We'd collect Harry's tears in a jar and drink 'em -- "Crybaby"-style.
He Named The Band
So, basically, the rest of the dudes owe him their very souls. Or, you know, at least a new fedora or two...
We will hold you through every swirling loop-de-loop, Hazza.
Chris Martin Approves
Harry Styles made the Coldplay frontman question his sexuality. The answer to said question, sir, is basically just "yes."
He Loves "The Notebook"
HE IS SO SENSITIVE!
HE IS SO TALENTED!
HE IS SO FRUGAL!
So, Again, The Winner Is -- Obviously
Harry Styles! BAM!