If “The Walking Dead” taught only one lesson in “Still,” it’s this: there ain’t no party like a Daryl Dixon party, because at a Daryl Dixon party, you blast The Mountain Goats, pound moonshine, play “I Never” with newbie drinkers and burn houses to the ground.
Also, the Daryl Dixon party has a boob bucket. Never forget.
Here are some of our burning questions about one of the most wonderfully weird “Walking Dead” episodes of all time.
1. When did “The Walking Dead” turn into “Survivor”? Hunting snakes for food, starting fires with magnifying glasses, living in absolute squalor … some problems with their social games aside, Daryl and Beth would make for a pretty solid Final Two alliance.
2. How long could you sit alone in a trunk with Daryl Dixon before jumping his bones? Five, ten minutes, at most?
3. Snake Jerky or Mud Snake? Which name do you like better? The first sounds more palatable, although the second could be a damn fine dessert, “dirt pudding” style. Whatever the case, add snake to the ever-growing list of “Walking Dead” food products .
4. Who comes up with the post-apocalyptic messaging? On “Still,” we saw the words “Welcome to the Dog Trot” scrawled on the wall, while a walker was labeled “rich bitch.” Who is going around dropping all of these slogans and labels all over the place? Did Banksy survive the plague and move to Georgia? Wait a minute…
5. …is Daryl Dixon Banksy? Nope.
6. How far would you go for a drink? I understand that life gets rough in the zombie apocalypse, but come on. Priorities, people. Beth really values finding booze over finding Maggie and the others? Seems a little weird to me, but okay. (For the record, Beth: I do think it’s stupid, it definitely is, and I don’t care.)
7. Is peach schnapps really that bad? Yeah, it’s kind of gross.
8. Is moonshine really that good? No, it’s not.
9. Is Daryl Dixon’s childhood home exactly as you’d expect it to be? Pretty much, although I don’t think anyone could have anticipated the boob bucket. That was a nice touch.
10. When did “The Walking Dead” turn into “Lost”? That “I Never” scene was ripped straight out of Sawyer and Kate’s jungle journey in season one. Not that I minded the “Lost” Easter egg, as long as we all acknowledge which show played this game first.
11. Is Drunk Daryl the worst character on the show? He cries, he’s aggressive with women, he draws attention to hiding places… yeah, Drunk Daryl is bad, but he’s no Carl.
12. Is Daryl going to be the last man standing? That’s Beth’s prediction, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised. Unlike just about every other character on the show, Daryl doesn’t exist in the comic books, so there’s no road-map for the character; the writers can do whatever they want with him. It’s entirely possible that Daryl walks out of the apocalypse unscathed, the last living survivor in an ocean of rotten meat.
13. Was that the best ending to a “Walking Dead” episode ever? That’s a bit hyperbolic, but I’ll put it this way: I certainly did not enter this episode expecting it to end with Daryl and Beth soaking fat stacks of cash with moonshine and setting Daryl’s childhood home on fire, flipping double-birds as it burns to the ground. That’s an image that won’t leave my head for at least a week — just enough time for “Walking Dead” to come back and leave another new and unforgettable impression.
What did you think of “Still”? Let us know in the comments below!