Lorde’s ‘Royals’ Gets A T-Painful Remix

T-Pain's new 'T-Mix' of Lorde's hit completely misses the point, and we're fine with that.

T-Pain just can’t help himself.

The Ace of Auto-Tune has returned from wherever he’s been hiding (Tallahassee?) with an irony-free cover of Lorde‘s Grammy-winning “Royals,” which turns the original’s anti-bling sentiments into a celebration of the extravagant life … and a shout-out to everyone’s favorite blended Canadian whiskey.

Officially dubbed the “T-Mix,” Pain’s version finds him reflecting on just how far he’s come — “Seems like yesterday we was drinking Crown Royal,” he robo croons — while, at the same time, marveling at his fleet of automobiles (“Look at all these Cadillacs on 20s!”) and celebrating his rather, uh, unique fashion sensibilities (“Cowboy hat and a hubcap for a chain.”)

He also shouts out Florida’s capital and dismisses his inevitable detractors, declaring “We don’t really give a f—/Now they trying to hate on us/And I just party on my bus,” before finally proclaiming “Lemme see you get loose, girl/everything is on me … let me live that fantasy!”

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, yes, the entire thing is lacquered in an Auto-Tuned sheen so thick that it’s probably waterproof. It’s a T-Pain track, after all. Money over everything!

In recent months, “Royals” has been re-worked by the likes of Rick Ross and Wale, neither of whom seemed to bother listening to the song’s lyrics before adding their verses. Lorde has remained silent about those remixes … a trend she’s currently continuing with this new “T-Mix.” Though we suspect her reaction probably looks something like this:

Tallahassee, what’s up?