Like a yeti glimpsed in a forest clearing between the noble pines, Will Ferrell appeared on the Internet on Tuesday for a Reddit AMA to raise awareness for a Cancer for College charity drive — and then, having blessed the heads of Redditors with a dozen glorious golden jokes, vanished once again into the ether from whence he came.
It was a single, fleeting moment of magnificence that will never again be repeated and was over far too soon. And if you missed it... well, your tears are understandable. But you can still bask in the AMA's aftermath, as we revisit the actor's best witticisms on a variety of important topics.
On The Superhero Role That Should Have Been His:
"It was down to me or Tobey Maguire for Spider-Man and they harshly told me I was too fat for the suit. That having been said, every time I watch 'Spider-Man' I still think I was the better actor for the role."
On The Benefits Of Being An Action Figure
"It is fantastic to have my own Lego of President Business/Lord Business. Now my children actually will talk to me. Prior to this moment, they really wanted nothing to do with me."
On The Sheer Power Of Ben Stiller's Blue Steel Face In 'Zoolander'
"Unfortunately it was a closed set. At that point in time, the look was considered too powerful to be around so only essential crew and safety people were allowed on set."
On Fomenting Cultural Hatred
"There's a lot to hate about Sweden. Beautiful people, the high cheek bones, the fact that every person speaks better English than we do and the durability and great warranty plans on a brand new Volvo."
On The Superiority Of Cheez-Its vs. Cheese Nips
"How dare you. Cheese Nips are racist."
On The Origin Of The Testes Which Appeared In That 'Step Brothers' Scene
"Those were not based on my testicles. However, Oscar-winning actor Daniel Day-Lewis allowed his balls to be examined for the prosthetic balls to be made."
On His Favorite Thing To Do With His Best Hollywood Bro, John C. Reilly
"Often times we build model sailing ships and go to the park and sail them. We also like to hunt cats with bb guns, which I know is not a craft."
On Being A Beloved Role Model
"Is it weird to you that Elf might be the most important movie in my life?"
Will: "No, it's not weird at all. It's normal."
"Then is it weird that Mugatu is my mortal hero and idol in life?"
Will: "That one is weird."
Oh, and then there was this: the moment at which a surprise musical guest appeared on the Reddit party line with a question of his own:
Snoop: "ayy Will, imma need some more cowbell on tha next album, u game?"
Will: Of course! I'm absolutely game, Snoop. I've also got some beats that I want to run by you. I'm warning you now, they're not good. edit: In fact, I just talked myself out of it. I'm not going to show them to you.
Snoop: "boats n hoes part 2 uhearme !! we may need 2 climb some trees first"
Will: "I got a lot of trees at my house. Eucalyptus, pine and california oak."
And there you have it: imminently, Snoop will be appearing at Will Ferrell's house to record a sequel song to "Boats 'n' Hoes" from atop a mighty oak, because the Internet is a place where magic does, indeed, happen.