Death is never easy to deal with, but things got especially hard for Honey Cocaine after her friend Freddy E died Saturday in an apparent suicide. Not only was Honey C in mourning, she also had to deal with rampant online allegations that she was the reason for his death..
"What they don't understand is that we were friends, we were just friends. Blogs are saying that I was his ex-girlfriend and he did what he did because of a failed relationship. That has nothing to do with anything. I need people to understand that it was just a friendship," Honey Cocaine told MTV News in an exclusive sit-down Tuesday. "I just want people to know that we were just friends, and we did everything for each other as friends."
Honey, who is an up-and-coming rap artist signed to Tyga, says she had just gotten home from the gym when she checked Twitter and learned that Freddy had killed himself. Before his death, the poet and comedian — who often displayed his skills via his JERKTV YouTube channel — sent a number of dark messages via Twitter. "If there's a God then He's calling me back home. This barrel never felt so good next to my dome. It's cold & I'd rather die than live alone," he tweeted. "It's... all... bad... y'all. *puts finger around trigger*"
The pintsize spitter was in disbelief and figured it was just an online hoax and sent a series of her own tweets, which she quickly deleted and wouldn't detail in our interview. "I reacted in a way that I shouldn't have and wasn't proud of," she said. "Of course I deleted my tweets, of course. It shouldn't be there. The guy is gone, and that's my friend."
Honey Cocaine described Freddy as strong and always happy, but also said she believes he had some deep-rooted issues — issues that had nothing to do with her. "I think he was just going through a lot, and that's his personal business. I'm not going to speak about what he was going through, but as his friend, I did communicate with him often," she explained, teary-eyed. "I just feel like he couldn't handle his problems anymore, and this is someone who had real, deep issues within him, and I didn't know, I guess his friends didn't know. and I guess he made himself seem happy, but he was really just holding everything inside.
"Everyone is fighting their own battles. We're all soldiers. Some of our soldiers turn to angels, and some of us turn to veterans," she said, eulogizing her lost friend. "And he was one who turned into an angel."
If you or someone you know has had thoughts of suicide, there's help at HalfOfUs.com.