Black Keys ‘Juicing Up’ For Musical March Madness

MTV's 2012 tournament tips off Monday, and the Keys are ready for action — thanks to Beastdrol.

MTV’s Musical March Madness tournament returns Monday, and for some bands, that day can’t come soon enough — after all, they’ve been training for months.

Take, for example, the Black Keys, who enter the 2012 tourney riding high — back-to-back breakout albums and a sold-out arena tour have certainly strengthened their RPI — and may very well be the favorites to unseat Green Day as MMM champs . But don’t think for a second that they’re letting all that success go to their heads. The Keys know nothing is certain once the tournament tips off, which is why they’re counting on hard work (and performance-enhancing drugs) to put them over the top.

“Well, you know, to win this tournament, we’ve got to review tape — we’ve been doing that every night, meeting up, using the chalkboard a lot. And a lot of calisthenics, that kind of stuff,” frontman Dan Auerbach explained. “We’ve also been juicing up a lot, trying to get yoked out, and I think that we’re at peak performance right now, and I think we’re ready for this.”

“I’ve been taking something called Beastdrol, and my thighs have increased to near 100 percent muscle,” drummer Patrick Carney added. “Everything else is normal, though. We’ve been practicing for this day for a long time, and we’ve just got to stay focused.”

And if that strategy sounds a bit shady, well, MMM history has proven that rule-breaking is not only par for the course, it’s practically encouraged. (Who among us can forget the “Cheat to Win” strategy made famous by 2010 champs Coheed and Cambria ?) But will all the Beastdrol in the world be enough to carry the Black Keys to victory? They’ll have to out-juice the 63 other bands gunning for the big gold trophy — a packed bracket featuring the biggest acts in rock, not to mention several upset-intent newcomers. So it’s a good thing Auerbach and Carney have a few more tricks up their sleeves. Like, for example, the formidable “wax on/ wax off” combo, as taught to them by their mentor/coach.

“We just got to remember what our coach told us, Mr. Miyagi, and I think that we’re going to pull it out,” Auerbach said. “We’re the kind of band that wins in the fourth quarter, so that’s where we’re going to shine, I think.”

MTV’s 2012 Musical March Madness Tournament begins Monday, March 12, when we’ll unveil the full field of 64 bands that will battle for this year’s championship. Winners are determined by fan votes, so if your favorite act made the cut, it’ll be up to you to guide them to glory. You can rally the troops on Twitter using the hashtag #MMM — but get ready, it’s gonna be a war.