Sex was all up in "Glee" on Tuesday night, as two couples took things to the next level in an episode appropriately titled "The First Time."
The coitus will surely complicate Finn and Rachel's situation, while it brought Kurt and Blaine closer than ever. For the second week in a row, "Glee" introduced a new character. This one's named Sebastian, played by Grant Gustin, an aggressive new Warbler with one mission: Snatch Blaine away from Kurt.
Yes, Karofsky returned for a brief scene in a gay bar, and yes, Coach Bieste now has a love interest, and yes, Mike Chang's dad cut him off for performing "West Side Story" with his castmates. But let's face it: All anyone's talking about is the dirty deed.
So take a gander at my latest musical "Glee"-Cap. It's waiting for you in all its Hype Williams-inspired glory in the embedded video player above. Sing along if you feel like it!
Light a Duraflame, baby
Silence your phone
They're gonna do it, maybe
While their parents aren't home
Takin' it slow so far
Just a magical kiss
Blaine is horny in a car
So drunk at the gay bar
And Kurt's all, "You ain't gettin' this, no"
Now's not the time
Kurt is losing his mind
(Kurt's losing his mind!)
Jealous of a new guy in town
(He's a slut. And a pig. And a slut pig)
Sebastian's his name
Stealing men is his game
But Blaine's devoted
Now Kurt, he knows it
So Klainers put your hands in the air for ...
All up on my TV screen
It's tame 'cause conservatives will scream
If you want grinding watch "Queer as Folk"
You'd think at least we'd get one tiny grope, nope
Rachel wants to do the nasty
To prepare for a role
Her motives make Finn antsy
So he decides to withhold
Cooter the Recruiter tells Finn
"You're not the best"
But it gets him in the mood for
Some pity sex
The straight couple makes out on a bed yet ...
... The gay guys just lay there instead
You can have sex while wearing clothes?!
We're still dealing in prime time
So no cigars, just close
I know there are some heartbroken
Klainers out there
Who wanted some bump 'n' grind (Bump 'n' grind!)
But we have to wait for our nation to be more accepting
Just give it time (Give it time!)
It's better than nothin', I guess
I mean, holy crap — they had sex!
What did you think of this week's episode? Let us know in the comments!