All this hullabaloo over the news of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ divorce is a little overwhelming.
That’s right: Concerned citizen/comedian/defender of the sanctity of marriage Rob Delaney explained his logic to MTV News thusly:
“I’m suing Kim Kardashian and Ryan Seacrest and E! Entertainment Television and Comcast for perpetrating what we now know to be a hoax, their marriage,” he told MTV News on Tuesday. “It can’t be real. I want them to stay married. I want them to stick it out, so as an incentive, I am suing them for monetary damages — but only $18 million, not a lot. That’s just what she was paid for the wedding episodes themselves.”
Delaney said the idea for the lawsuit has been brewing ever since he started seeing advertisements for Kardashian and Humphries’ wedding special on various billboards around Los Angeles.
“I would drive to work every day, and I would see the billboards for the wedding, and they were offensive to me, because they weren’t normal billboards; they were these super billboards, where they add extra stuff on and make them larger than normal,” he said. “They’re on these super billboards with them getting ready to get married like it was some royal wedding, and then for them to immediately try and dissolve it 72 days later — they renewed their vows on ‘Ellen’ at day 60! What happened in those 12 days? It must have been bad.”
Delaney said he thinks the newlyweds-no-more should make a serious attempt to work out their differences.
“I will say, as someone who is married, that you are going to go through periods where you hate your spouse for 12 days — longer,” he said. That’s like a blip, and then you recover, and you figure it out together and figure out what the problem was and you grow, and these things that seem insurmountable and awful, you realize they made you stronger.
“I want Kim to be happy,” Delaney insisted. “I don’t hate her. She’s a person who deserves happiness, but you have to fight and work for it. As a married man and a dad and an American, I want to make her reconsider. I don’t want the money. I mean, I’m going to take the money, but I feel like almost anybody would spend it better [than she would].”
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