‘Transformers’ Stars Joke That Stunts Hurt Their Guy Parts

'I don't like the wires,' Shia LaBeouf says, breaking down the dangers of wearing a harness.

If there’s one thing audiences can count on going into a Michael Bay-directed “Transformers” movie, it’s that there will be action, action and … more action. With each new installment, Bay has upped the ante, delivering crazier robot fights and more death-defying stunt work. And while those stunt sequences are fascinating to watch, they come with a certain amount of strain and stress for the actors who perform them.

Speaking specifically of the wire work required of his cast during filming of the third installment, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” Bay has previously joked that star Shia LaBeouf was a “grump” about working in harnesses. So we asked LaBeouf to address that point during a recent sit-down. His detailed explanation was both highly technical and hilarious.

“Yeah, I don’t like the wires,” LaBeouf admitted to MTV News. “Really, you can ask any man, like if I were to ask you, sir,” Labeouf said, gesturing to the gentleman manning the camera in the background. “Would you like me to take my shoelace off, tie it around your nuts and then hang it from a chandelier on the ceiling?” he deadpanned. “And then while you’re up there hanging from your testicles, I need you to scream, ‘Optimus!’ which makes the testicle condense inside of the shoelace vise. Would you enjoy that, sir?” LaBeouf said with a smile.

New leading lady Rosie Huntington-Whiteley also weighed in on the subject, insisting that harnesses aren’t a picnic for the ladies either.

“I don’t think I was originally supposed to go up in the harness,” Whiteley said of her fateful day suspended in the air. “I was on set watching my stunt double do her thing; she was sliding down this 100-foot [mobile set] that was at a 40-degree angle on what was basically a skateboard, headfirst. All of the sudden Michael [Bay] says, ‘OK, get Rosie in the harness!’ They thrust this man’s harness at me,” she recalled. “Which is placed to be in all the wrong places for a woman’s body and is excruciatingly painful for three hours,” she added. “All the things cut into the wrong places, put pressure on the wrong bits. Whatever it does to a man, it also does to a woman.”

LaBeouf and Whiteley’s co-star Tyrese Gibson, however, said there’s one surefire way to make wire work less painful: butt meat.

“Thank God I have a bigger ass so when you put the harness on, the ass is able to help you stay away from the front part,” he explained. “It kind of balances things out a little bit. When your ass is flat and you have to have it going over the front, it is a bad day in America,” Gibson said. “It’s really nothing any of us can do about that. We can, say, do lunges, get on the StairMaster that week, but it’s not going to give you that real butt meat that you need to help you to get through the situation,” he said. “So thank you, Mom, for passing on the booty meat to help me get through this.”

Check out everything we’ve got on “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.”

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