When we last left the "Jersey Shore," the housemates were in the middle of mediating a highly emotional dispute or, as most viewers saw it, getting ready to throw down.
Things came to a head after Vinny let JWoww know that Angelina was telling the rest of the gang about Pauly D's "drunkity" state. Eventually, the issue turned into a smackdown between JWoww and Sammi, who were already giving each other the side-eye over the infamous "anonymous" letter to Sammi (which, we know, was penned by Snooki and JWoww) detailing Ronnie's conquests. But that was just the first five minutes.
Here's a recap of the biggest moments from Thursday's "Jersey Shore":
5. Ferry Love
After Vinny called out Angie's town-crier approach to Pauly's drunken night, the Staten Islanders spent most of the episode going at each other's necks. Angelina even laid out her distaste for Vinchenzo at the gelato shop, telling Mike, "He's not even good-looking, so he needs to jump off the 'I'm good-looking' train."
But by the episode's final cab ride home, guess which two ferry-riders were sucking face in the back seat? Even the dude who laced Angie with a spankin' new Fossil timepiece didn't get all that.
4. Snooki the Multitasker
Snooks finally got some action! Hurrah!
Apparently, she didn't waste precious bar banter coaxing details from her date and waited instead until they hit the sheets. The late-night canoodling woke up roomie JWoww with a mixture of moans and queries like, "How far do you live from here?"
3. Is Ronnie R. Kelly?
Ron-Ron has been pretty much dogging Sammi for most of the season and, of course, the resident "Shore" philosopher Mike served up an insightful assessment of the situation.
"He's been peeing on her, and she's still with him," The Situation observed. "This is like when you're a little kid and you find out Santa Claus is dead."
And everyone knows that finding out Santa died — instead of, you know, never existing in the first place — is way more traumatic.
JWoww and Sammi didn't hold back in the epic episode-opening catfight, which, as Ron-Ron put it, was "like putting firecrackers in a Dumpster."
The brawl sent parts of the décor flying off the wall and needed the juicehead might of the guy castmates to finally break it up. An explosion of trash is a pretty apt description of the whole affair.
1. The Aftermath
The next morning, Sammi picked through the wreckage in the kitchen, stepping over yanked-out extensions and crusty lunchmeat to find her earring, while JWoww called out from work to attend to her ruined acrylics.
As Pauly put it: "It's like World War III went down last night. It's crazy."
What were your favorite moments from this week's "Jersey Shore"? Share them in the comments!
Watch "Jersey Shore" every Thursday at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.