By now, you know the formula for the typical Hollywood awards show: Take a red carpet, add some diamond-encrusted dresses, a few golden statuettes and a handful of fairly awkward political appeals and/or acceptance speeches, bake for four-plus hours, sit back and try to enjoy.
By that standard — or any standard, for that matter — the 2007 MTV Movie Awards were not your typical glitzy soiree (though Jack Nicholson was there, front and center and randy as ever). Rather, they were a wonderfully profane, incredibly irreverent goof on the staid Hollywood system, a full-blown, Spartan-esque assault led by potty-mouthed host Sarah Silverman and bolstered by a whole lot of jaw-dropping, sure-to-be blogged-about moments.
Like, for example, a skin-crawlingly awkward Paris-Hilton-goes-to-jail joke lobbed by Miss Silverman during her opening monologue that was met with silence from Hilton (see “Paris Hilton Talks About Jail: ‘I’m Obviously A Little Scared’ “ ) and a whole lot of catcalls from the audience. (Note: this probably marked the first time in history that a majority of the U.S. population felt sorry for Paris Hilton — for a few seconds, anyway.)
Or the aforementioned Nicholson, who ambled up to accept his award for Best Villain and delivered a rambling, raspy-voiced acceptance speech that included a shout-out to Martin Scorsese, a nod to our troops overseas and a solidly placed F-bomb.
(Watch Nicholson and Silverman give the censors a workout and Rihanna and Jay-Z heat up the stage in this Movie Awards recap.)
Oh yeah: There were awards too! They were given out almost, it would seem, as a respite from the profanity (“It’s live TV! Everybody curse!”). Fans of pirates had plenty to be happy about: “Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest” took home the Golden Popcorn for Best Movie. Johnny Depp — looking Oscars above the waist (smooth sportcoat) and “21 Jump Street” below (ratty flannel knotted on his hips) — won the Best Performance award for his turn as the swashbuckling Captain Jack Sparrow.
Sacha Baron Cohen won a pair of awards, for Best Comedic Performance and Best Kiss — the latter a victory he shared with his “Talladega Nights” co-star Will Ferrell in a sensual, beard-on-beard smooch that quickly evolved into a serious grappling session that rivaled anything in “300.”
And speaking of those shirtless Spartans, “300″ star Gerard Butler scored the award for Best Fight thanks to his mind-blowing battle against the Uber Immortal.
Other than that, “300″ — which went into the night with more nominations (five) than any other film — came up short. But honestly, perhaps the biggest success of the Movie Awards was that they managed to make the event less about the awards and more about the electric charge you get when you pack a bunch of ready-to-party stars into a room, throw in the irreverent Silverman and add pair of high-profile musical performers to spice things up.
Rihanna and Jay-Z delivered a muscled-up version of her summertime smash “Umbrella” — all showers of sparks, power chords, synth stabs and (you guessed it) a pink umbrella or eight, with Rihanna herself heating things up in her patent-leather summer finest.
Later, Amy Winehouse vamped and amped her way through the strangely timely (given the sheer amount of jokes on the topic during the show) “Rehab,” her beehive reaching epic heights and her attitude cutting through the sheer star-power in the house. Josh Duhamel and Fergie were seen singing along on camera.
Hot as those performances were, the evening was more about moments. Like a pair of appearances by Bruce Willis (who had censors on edge thanks to a lightning-quick “Yippee kay ay, motherf—–”); a hirsute, portly guy in a skin-covered Speedo who forcibly removed those who dared to go long on their acceptance speeches; Robin Williams in an inexplicable kilt; and, uh, Dane Cook?
They were all there — incredibly, gloriously live — and if you missed it, shame on you. Because these were the kinds of things that probably won’t be allowed to happen next year. The 2007 MTV Movie Awards proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that it doesn’t really matter who won or lost — it’s more about showing up, loosening up and having a really great time.
And, by that formula, they were a huge success: a big, ballsy, bleeping one.
Here’s a list of the show’s big winners:
» Best Movie: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”
» Best Villain: Jack Nicholson, “The Departed”
» Best Performance: Johnny Depp, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”
» Breakthrough Performance: Jaden Smith, “The Pursuit of Happyness”
» Best Comedic Performance: Sacha Baron Cohen, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”
» Best Kiss: Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”
» Best Fight: Gerard Butler vs. the Uber Immortal, “300″
» Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen Yet: “Transformers”
The credits have rolled, but there’s more coverage still pouring in! Satisfy your inner movie geek with even more 2007 MTV Movie Awards goodness, including backstage interviews, wrap-up reports, performer diaries, red-carpet coverage, “Transformers” and Sarah Silverman exclusives, photos, highlights from years past and much more, at MovieAwards.mtv.com.
Visit Movies on MTV.com for more from Hollywood, including news, reviews, interviews and more.
For breaking news, celebrity columns, humor and more — updated around the clock — visit MTVMoviesBlog.com.
Want trailers? Visit the Trailer Park for the newest, scariest and funniest coming attractions anywhere.