Salma’s Birthday Suit, Nic’s Bear Suit: Memorable Movie Moments Of 2006

Our Other Awards honor 'Final Destination 3,' 'Turistas,' 'Jackass: Number Two.'

With 2006 headed into the history books, awards shows and critics are once again feeling the need to list the best actors, actresses, movies and short-subject documentary foreign films of the year.

Well, after sitting through most of the several hundred movies that came out this past year, we know there’s a lot more worth remembering. Below, we present the Other Awards for 2006, a list of the beautiful, bizarre and downright baffling movie moments we’ll never forget.

» “Most Bizarre Scene to Catch Out of Context” Award — The final reel of “Wicker Man,” which features Nicolas Cage dressed in a bear suit and punching women in the face.

» “Best Dis of a Historical Figure” Award — Ryan Merriman in “Final Destination 3.” Fearing a man dressed up as a Founding Father and setting up a potentially fatal fireworks display, Merriman yells, “F— you, Ben Franklin!”

» “Biggest ’Final Destination 3’ Rip-Off” Award — “Black Christmas.” The horror movie was also written by “FD3” writer Glen Morgan, who went back to the familiar well when Kristen Cloke was startled by a seasonal mannequin and screamed, “F— you, Santa Claus!”

» “Lamest Special Effect” Award — The bargain-basement-cheap plane crash in “Pulse.”

» “Best Non-Ricky Bobby, Non-Borat Ad Lib of the Year” Award — “Thank You for Smoking” star William H. Macy: “The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!”

» “Worst Decision by a Director” Bronze Medal — Martin Scorsese, who’ll probably win an Oscar for “The Departed” but still couldn’t resist a moment of overly literal symbolism by showing an actual rat in the final shot of his police-corruption drama.

» “Worst Decision by a Director” Silver Medal — Brett Ratner, for allowing Magneto to move the chess piece in “X-Men: The Last Stand.”

» “Worst Decision by a Director” Gold Medal — Sofia Coppola, who made a 123-minute film called “Marie Antoinette” in which a guillotine was never once seen, used or even mentioned.

» “Best Two Minutes and 54 Seconds of Any Movie This Year” Award (Men) — “Ask the Dust” 33:23-36:18, in which Salma Hayek strips down to her birthday suit and frolics in the ocean.

» “Best Two Seconds of Any Movie This Year” Award (Women) — Also in “Ask the Dust,” when Colin Farrell’s little Colin is briefly glimpsed in a full-frontal shot from 33:52-33:54.

» “Biggest Stretch” Award — Jennifer Aniston as a penniless, stoner housekeeper who can’t land a man in “Friends With Money.”

» “Worst Studio Decision of the Year” Award — Warner Bros., for making “The Lake House” and touting the long-awaited reunion of Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock — but not putting them together for virtually the whole movie.

» “Over-the-Top Movie Ad Propaganda” Award — The trailer for “Charlotte’s Web,” which referred to its source material as “The most beloved story of all time.”

» “Best Film of the Year that You’ll Never See” Award — The Michael Rapaport flick “Special,” a “Jackass”-meets-“Superman” movie that vanished after its buzzed-about Sundance debut.

» “What Movie Did I Just Walk Into?” Award — Scorsese’s latest, which doesn’t flash its “The Departed” title card until 18 minutes and 28 seconds into the movie!

» “Best Single-Word Catchphrase of the Year” Award — Borat’s “Not!”

» “Dumbest Scene of 2006” Award — Jason Statham, hoping to keep his adrenaline up, borderline-raping Amy Smart on a public sidewalk while dozens of onlookers oohed and aahed with appreciation in “Crank.”

» “Worst Hair” Award — Jamie Foxx in “Dreamgirls.”

» “Best Dance” Award — Tiny Abigail Breslin, superfreaking her way into our hearts at the end of “Little Miss Sunshine.”

» “Best Song” Award — John Michael Higgins belting out the cheesy Yes tune “Owner of a Lonely Heart” in Vince Vaughn’s face in “The Break Up.”

» “Greatest Single Scene of 2006” Award — The Pale Man sequence in “Pan’s Labyrinth.”

» “Most Random Sighting of a Former Child Star” Award — A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo from Jaleel White (a.k.a. Steve Urkel) in “Dreamgirls.”

» “Toupee or Not Toupee?” Award — Vin Diesel in “Find Me Guilty.” We’re guessing toupee.

» “Lamest Sight Gag of the Year” Award — A lizard laughing at Matthew McConaughey after he falls from a cliff in “Failure to Launch.” Who knew reptiles had such complex emotions?

» “Did I Just See That?” Award — In the movie “Aquamarine,” a member of Arielle Kebbel’s barely speaking mean-girl posse (the one who rides in the backseat) is replaced by a different actress halfway through the movie.

» “Most Missed Movie Moment” Award — Thanks, Michael Mann, for not even letting us hear the “Miami Vice” theme song after paying $10 to see a movie called “Miami Vice.”

» “Grossest Death of the Year” Award — The guy in the classroom in “Saw III.”

» “Grossest Life of the Year” Award — Steve-O in “Jackass: Number Two” for attaching a leech to his eyeball, letting someone fart in his face repeatedly, pushing a fishing hook through his cheek — and too many other things we can’t mention here.

» “Newest Movie Trend” Award — Showing actors at the end of a biopic frolicking with the actual person they’ve just portrayed (“Running With Scissors,” “Catch a Fire,” “The Queen” — OK, just kidding with that last one).

» “Single Worst Line of Dialogue Delivered in 2006” Award — For the warlocks-gone-wild clunker “The Covenant,” actor Sebastian Stan had to deliver this threat to another magical being: “I’m going to make you my wee-yotch!”

» “Worst Movie Prop” Award — Ryan Gosling’s calculator watch in “Half Nelson,” which had moviegoers wondering if the film was set during the ’80s.

» “Most Unlikely Comeback” Award — Former “Bad News Bears” child star Jackie Earle Haley, resurfacing and earning Oscar talk as a creepy child molester in “Little Children.”

» “Sign That Hollywood Is Making Too Many Animated Movies” Award — The cartoon flicks “Hoodwinked” and “Over the Hedge” both used the same ending: An already-hyper squirrel must consume a highly caffeinated beverage in order to move faster than all the characters around him and save the day.

» “Tastiest Movie Treat of the Year” Award — Johnny Depp turning himself into a giant shish kebab in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”

» “Best Performance by a Dead Guy” Award — Marlon Brando in “Superman Returns.”

» “Funniest Sight Gag of the Year” Award — The VW Beetles in “Cars” shown as actual flying beetles.

» “Best Lead Performance Everyone Thought Was a Supporting Performance” Award — Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls.”

» “Most Headache-Inducing Movie of the Year” Award — “Déjà Vu,” whose plot even star Denzel Washington didn’t seem to understand during interviews.

» “Most Underrated Action Sequence” Award — The slick, well-orchestrated shoot-out scene in “Idlewild.”

» “Worst Actor Choice of the Year” Award (tie) — Russell Crowe for “A Good Year” and Sean Penn for “All the King’s Men.”

» “Scene We Never Thought We’d See” Award — Ben Affleck playing guitar and singing a sappy song en Español in “Hollywoodland.”

» “We Knew ’Hostel.’ We Watched ’Hostel.’ ’Hostel’ Was a Friend of Ours. Sir, You’re No ’Hostel’ ” Award — “Turistas.”

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