The Toxic Avenger blew into the SonicNet offices, and stormed the keyboard. Read on. . .

(SonicHost) Hey Everyone ... Phoebe's here... & she's got her coffee & she's set to go.

(Boss) Hey Phoebe!

(SonicHost) Hi Phoebe ... How long have you lived in NYC?

(PhoebeL) I have lived for ten years in this strange, lonely vertical construct.

(Boss) Phoebe: You are so cool!

(PhoebeL) I love you.

(Dottie) What's up, girl?

(PhoebeL) Are you gay?

(GeeString) Are you wearing pants?

(PhoebeL) I always wear culottes.

(Boss) I loved you in Toxic Avenger.

(Test) Phoebe, you are as captivating as the sunset.

(PhoebeL) I prefer 'rosy fingered dawn.'

(SonicHost) How do you like living in NYC? Have you lived anywhere else?

(PhoebeL) I loathe the urban experience. I'm just here to have conversations with artists. How could I live in a colonial New England town on a chicken farm -- so different from everyone else, so tortured by my polymath sexuality?

(Boss) ... I guess you live in the East Village.

(Lotus) Is polymath sexuality, like, sex with several algebra teachers at once?

(Test) Phoebe, Who do you think is the better singer: Billie Holiday or Carmen Macrae?

(PhoebeL) Billie Holiday.

(SonicHost) Do you find that the "urban experience" of NYC has fueled your creativity as a musician & performance artist?

(PhoebeL) I live on Tenth Street. Familiarity has bred love and I find myself overwhelmed by emotion everytime I see the Puerto Rican bookies sitting on the garbage cans outside my slum. I started to play the piano and sing long before I became conscious. I never decided anything: it was other people who put that idea on the thing that it should be national, or a household word. But I have been protected by my place on the fringe because I don't fit into any format. I can develop in freedom.

(Boss) Do you want to be a starlet like Traci Lords?

(PhoebeL) I want to make love to Traci Lords with a gold and diamond dental dam.

(GeeString) You type fast. Can you do it while masturbating?

(PhoebeL) No.

(Boss) Phoebe is so rad.

(PhoebeL) I love the Boss.

(Dottie) I love women.

(PhoebeL) Did you hear about this on the lesbian love line?

(Boss) I am sad and I am poor.

(PhoebeL) Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Most women in the world are poor. In fact 83% of women make under 20,000 dollars a year. 2/3 of the poor people in the world are women. I can give you some other facts if you contact me at home, but I don't want to bore you with feminist theory.

(Test) Poor in material wealth, but rich in emotion.

(Boss) Do you find that you have the strong female-complex like Madonna? Do you find that you are not attracted to the weak willed?

(PhoebeL) Here's what I think: man needs strong ideal images like gods. When you do away with ideals like the "Mother of God," the human psyche replaces it -- somehow -- with desire; desire for blood-lust or booty. I like Madonna very much.

(Boss) Is Madonna a god?

(PhoebeL) I know she is a nice person.

(Test) Phoebe: Is your doctorate in Psychology?

(PhoebeL) Divinity.

(Boss) What are your songs about?

(PhoebeL) Have you heard my songs?

(Boss) Do you meditate?

(PhoebeL) I do.

(SonicHost) Phoebe ... tell us how music happened upon your life ...

(PhoebeL) My band is called the 4 Nurses of the Apocalypse. We'll be at CBGBs on Jan. 10 @ eleven thirty.

(Lotus) Have you ever seen Dean and the Weenies?

(PhoebeL) I played with Dean the Velvet Mafia the day before yesterday.

(JR) I learned recently that "leger" means, in French, literally: "born to act" (ref. "Arizona Dream" Cinemax).

(PhoebeL) No. Wrong. It is (leger), in fact, grace and lightness; but it is also related to the word 'logos' which is word, reason or more particularly in Greek: ratio. Those of you who are music lovers may know that all music is a result of ratio. And the Gospel of John says

" ... In the beginning there was the logos ...".

(Test) Pythagoras.

(PhoebeL) Yes Test, that is Pythagoras the Master of Samos talking.

(Boss) What do you think of Talk shows today?

(PhoebeL) I think that Talk Shows are proceeding toward the truth. Tabloid talk is an extremely interesting development.

(Boss) What about Regis or Howard Stern?

(PhoebeL) I enjoy Howard Stern's interest in Lesbians -- the Racial epithets have got to go.

(Test) Howard Stern is the id of Western Civilization.

(Boss) I want Howard to come out of his closet ...

(PhoebeL) Yes, I too feel that he is gay.

(KathyLee) Howard should come out of the bathroom.

(JR) Howard's on ET tonight.

(Test) Howard Stern is a Capricorn. Hey Phoebe: What's your sign?

(PhoebeL) My sign is Cancer. I was born on July 4. My mother has said that if she had it to do it over again she would never have had me. I don't know anything about Astrology except most of my friends are Cancers or Pisces or Capricorn.

(Boss) Do you want to be famous Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) I am famous ...

(JR) Whatever. How many "Toxic Avenger" movies are there? And when will the next Toxic saga be on TNT?

(PhoebeL) I don't know, but I learned how to write horror movies from Troma. I learned how to make 35 millimeter movies on no money, and now I have made one of my own: it's called the "Marquis De Slime."

(Test) Is it true that you speak seven languages Phoebe? If so, which?

(PhoebeL) No, But I do try to speak any language that I hear spoken, and I am going to learn Chinese with Cheri next.

(Test) Have you ever read Justine? 120 Days ...?

(PhoebeL) Yes, I am not a sadist but I used Sade as the epitome of the Objectification of women.

(JR) Do you like Portuguese? Sounds beautiful. My godfather is Portuguese.

(PhoebeL) Portuguese is one of the perfect languages for singing Che Lindo.

(SonicHost) Tell us Phoebe ... when your movie will be coming out?

(PhoebeL) Slime will be on Canal Plus in France. The only things I learned at Vassar is how to type, and how to make a woman come.

(Test) What's your favorite film Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) Alphaville by Godard.

(JR) Do you like Beavis and Butthead, as it relates to the Marquis de Sade ... punishment for beauty, etc. ...

(PhoebeL) I used to like Beavis and Butthead, but then I became bored.

(Boss) Phoebe: When did you start to be attracted to women?

(PhoebeL) I am trying to eat myself, to have a Last Supper of myself,

to consume my opposite, my shadow; I'm trying to drink my own blood.

(Test) Jung, Dracula.

(PhoebeL) Test who are you? You are smart.

(Test) I am a cognac on a winters night ...What's your favorite book?

(PhoebeL) Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.

(Cleo) I'll wait for the movie.

(Stafford) How are the Nurses of the Apocalypse?

(PhoebeL) Well here's my review of the Nurses: Like everything else I ever did, it started bad and then it got good. I mean, everyone told me it was good at first. The first gig was at Mercury on Halloween and we played with Dean's Velvet Mafia and Daniel Cartier. I was playing guitar with the Nurses. I was really excited and then we played CBGB and I felt a sense of despair because I wanted something transcendent to happen.

(Test) Kierkegaard's definition of despair: the finite wishing to become the Eternal.

(PhoebeL) I wanted a combination of musica humanis and musica instrumentalis, and I wanted to have a sense of the Eternal -- not just the fashion of the East Village or Trends or money or Radio or Sex or Popularity. I wanted to talk to God: like I do when I'm alone playing at home. I thought maybe it will never work. Maybe Rock & Roll - Punk - Alternative is so Genre and Gender specific that it will never work and then I kept doing it and we played at Brownies and I still felt bad, and then on Sunday we played at Mercury Lounge and suddenly I found it and now I think It will be very good.

(Stafford) I heard you were great at the Mercury.

(Boss) Phoebe do you like GWAR or do you think that they demean women?

(PhoebeL) I used to think that GWAR was like the coolest. Now I am moving away from theatrical rock for myself and horror effects on stage. They are a very powerful strong, dense rock band without

all the brilliant world class costumes and spurting pigs blood.

(Test) Is horror an art form?

(PhoebeL) Horror is nightmare is the irrational is the blood of our hearts and our hatred and fear and it is art as much as all is art.

(SonicHost) There's nothing better than a good horror film to make you feel that much alive!!

(SonicHost) Phoebe ... What inspires your art?

(PhoebeL) I am inspired by love most of all resentment revenge and sadness and the sickness of the soul can drive me to the concentration in which composition can begin but really I would say it is love.

(Boss) What do you think of Rap music?

(PhoebeL) I love Rap, but no genre is absolute.

(Test) Rap is the purest mirror of the state of the world: violence, will to power, and misogyny.

(PhoebeL) Rap is a Mirror but it is not Pure. It is as corrupt as all other music on Records, because once music enters the world of commodification of the material it must loose its purity.

(SonicHost) Do you think that it is a good time for female musicians, artists ... as opposed to when you first started out?

(PhoebeL) It is the best it has ever been. The White Male Hegemony

made it hell for me when I first started out, and I was raped and harassed and ridiculed and distorted in the press and made to feel less than myself. Men would come down to see my first band "Monad," and they would tell me what was wrong with the music while they felt me up: the amazing thing is that I stayed in.

(SonicHost) Any favorite bands??

(PhoebeL) I love Tribe 8, Team Dresch and my favorite ICU with Perry Masco.

(JR) Are they still together?

(PhoebeL) Yes, I saw her on Sunday. She is absolutely perfect.

(Test) What types of music do you listen to Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) I want to live with Pam Anderson. I want to be on Bay Watch and crawl around on the Sand with Pam and remove her silicone with my teeth.

(Test) ouch!

(Boss) I don't know that Tommy would like that.

(PhoebeL) I would live in the mountains above Malibu or I would live on a farm with Stafford. We could watch the eagles soaring through the great rocks, and watch the fires consuming the dead dreams of Rock stars.

(SonicHost) Would you like to do more films Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) I always do films, but sometimes they are 16 mm, and sometime they are video.

(Test) What do you think of Bob Dole, Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) I have no political acumen. I do not understand this American Theater of Brutal Greed in which the poor and the old and the artists are treated like immoral excrement. I just don't understand ... I will tell you the address of my web site: http://www.internote.com/sdp/phoebe.html ...

(Test) Phoebe: Do you think that the loss of innocence is part of the human condition?

(PhoebeL) We never really loose our innocence. Television replaces our pure desires with false illusions.

(Test) False profits.

(PhoebeL) --But that is not a real change in the soul character. I continue to believe in the goodness and innocence of humanity.

(JR) I think that innocence, while part of the human condition, is a metaphor for ignorance these days. We don't live in Victorian England.

(PhoebeL) Puritan Magazine -- this month's Holiday Issue -- has printed excerpts from my autobiography. Shame, Depravity, and Lesbianism are the Twilight of a Dying Civilization. They included my paintings and drawings of Lesbian Orgies and my Lyrics.

(SonicHost) How was it performing in Hong Kong at the Fringe Festival? What was the cultural gap like if any?

(PhoebeL) I am very worried about my friends in Hong Kong: The intellectuals and politically engaged people are in danger. I love Asian Culture.

(Test) I love Asian culture. I dislike Deng Xiaoping.

(SonicHost) I think that if they learn from the mistakes of the US & other western countries, then they will be okay. If they are in a big hurry to catch up & be a "big" player, then there could be problems because the country is soo big ...

(Test) China already is a big player. Nietzche once said that Europe was a tiny appendage on the giant continent that is Asia.

(PhoebeL) I like some things they do, like they way they dis the big record companies and just make their own records and sell them! But some of the tortures for intellectuals are really bad news.

(Boss) Do you have a girlfriend or any other significant other?

(PhoebeL) I am watching one romantic situation very closely ...

(Boss) So Phoebe are you involved in any sort of LOVE triangle?

(PhoebeL) I'd like to be.

(Boss) Any current mate? We want the 411!

(PhoebeL) I answered that?

(Boss) How?

(PhoebeL) Well, there's one girl I know who is interested in monkeys. I like that.

(Boss) That's cool. I think JR would like her.

(SonicHost) Phoebe, what do you think of this digital means & the age of art via computers??

(PhoebeL) I had high hopes for On-line communication. I felt that artist could create milieus through the computer as they once did in cities and that's what jump-starts art movements. Actually I have made more friends this year on-line than I have in ten years in NY!

(JR) Have you actually met physically any on those on-line friends?

(PhoebeL) yes

(Test) This chat room smells like teen spirit!

(Boss) I love Kurt Cobain. HE WAS A GENIUS.

(PhoebeL) I love Kurt too. He was so fine so Handsome, so verbal, so ... sick.

(Test) RIP Kurt Cobain.

(Boss) Do you like Courtney?

(PhoebeL) She is a good star.

(SonicHost) Yeah... but she's falling fast ...

(Test) Where do you see yourself in 500 years Phoebe?

(PhoebeL) Dead, like you; at least we have something to look forward to.

(JR) Are you a Buddhist? Any particular religious affiliation?

(PhoebeL) Yes I love Zen.

(SonicHost) Hey Phoebe ... Did you know Andy Warhol?

(PhoebeL) I never had a chance to talk to him, but I read his books and I love his early drawings. Obviously many people have noticed similarities between Andy and Me but his focus became what he called "Business Art."

(SonicHost) Did you know Patti Smith at all?

(PhoebeL) I love Patti Smith. Did you read the NY Times piece?

She is still the coolest.

(Test) Phoebe: How would you classify your art?

(PhoebeL) Post Avant-garde Experimental Punk subculture Total Art Synthesis.

(SonicHost) Phoebe ... If there was anyone in the world you could collaborate with artistically... who would it be?

(PhoebeL) Marcel Proust.

(Test) Marcel Proust is the bomb.

(SonicHost) Phoebe...do you think NYC is as inspiring as when you first moved here.. & by the way where are you from?

(PhoebeL) NYC is always very inspiring-ugliness and violence have a bracing effect on the creative imagination. I am from Massachusetts.

apathy0: Are you inspired from the underground?

(PhoebeL) I am dirty form living underground.

(SonicHost) So.. Phoebe ...will you be showing a collection of your art soon?

(PhoebeL) You can see my paintings at my web site, or in my apartment. I am trying to totally focus on my band right now, but I suffer from something called graphomania, which means compulsive drawing.

(SonicHost) I think everyone in NYC suffers from "ADD" (attention deficit disorder) ... it's part of the nature of living here. I know I have it!

(PhoebeL) Apparently we are exposed to 1000 ads per day, that's not your fault. I can't add.

(Test) I can't whistle.

(PhoebeL) You can't whistle?

(Test) No ... all my friends try to teach me, but I just can't. I feel so deprived ...

(PhoebeL) Listen to the music of Professor Longhair He is the best whistler. Come see my band at Rock N roll Fagbar Jan. 18 or CBGB on Jan. 10. I have a new record coming out called to Soothe the Savage Breast. You can order it from me. Send checks to Phoebe Legere 278 E 10, NY, NY, 10009.

(SonicHost) Hey ... I hear you're an amazing accordion player ... how long have you been playing & what possessed you to learn it ...

(PhoebeL) I learned to play accordion to make my parents mad. I am half French and my mother is, like, a Boston Mayflower descendant and she hates the French Canadian side of me. So I learned it because it was totally different from the elitist piano playing Classical thing. Accordion is a vulgar portable instrument of the poor, the street. I found it to be so moving; I could use it in Performance Art situations and walk around. It hangs on the breast and the heart. It is a reed, which is the first instrument; it was the instrument of Pan.

(Test) But ... reeds whistle ... :(

(PhoebeL) Yes.

(SonicHost) What other instruments do you play?

(PhoebeL) Organ, accordion, harpsichord, ukulele, guitar, cello, harmonica, recorder, flute ...

(Test) Harpsichords are the bomb. ACTION loves Scarlatti!

(PhoebeL) I love Scarlatti and all early Italian music.

(Test) MONTEVERDI. I LOVE HIM.

(SonicHost) Did you see that movie - Farinelli?? It was soo beautiful.. about an Italian castrati singer ... tragic, but beautiful.

(PhoebeL) Farinelli I saw 7 times. I am a natural castrato. It is my favorite movie after Alphaville. Most people have not seen it: the costumes, the theaters, and above all the way in which the artist was regarded all moved me overwhelmingly. Also, I slept with the guy Stephano, who played Farinelli: it was my only satisfying Heterosexual

experience. He is magic. He did a wonderful job, and wasn't he beautiful?

(Test) Yes he was. Have you seen Restoration?

(PhoebeL) No I have not seen it yet I crave to want to go together.

(Test) I would love to. But if we get a cab, I can't whistle for it.

(SonicHost) Well ... we should probably wrap this up soon. Any last questions, Test?

(Test) Phoebe: You are the bomb. Bye Phoebe.

(SonicHost) Make sure to go see Phoebe's new band @ CBGB's on JAN. 10th.