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Tara Watched The 'Styl'D' Premiere As An 'Innocent Bystander'

Throughout this season of Styl'D, the junior assistants will be watching each episode and blogging about their reactions. Below, check out Tara's first post...

I never thought it would be possible to get an opportunity to join the Junior Assistant Program at MMA. I always put my fashion-oriented dreams on the back burner while I pursued more “realistic” goals like earning a degree and getting a bulls**t job slaving away for The Man. So imagine my delight when I received the call that I was in the program! It was perfect timing too -- I was this close to hanging myself at work with a silk charmeuse tunic tie.

I didn’t have a job working with the stylists on the first episode, so it was nice to watch without cringing in embarrassment about all the stupid s**t I inevitably do on set. But as an innocent bystander, there were a couple standout moments that jumped out at me as I was watching…

Do you ever wonder what happened to DJ Jazzy Jeff? Neither do I, but it seems he has an illegitimate white child by the name of Brett Alan Nelson running around town, biting his steez hardcore.

Am I not the only one that was secretly wishing there was a bright blue propeller at the top of his hat? I bet not!

It doesn’t seem to me that it took too much convincing on Janna’s side for Brett to go do pulls for Asher Book. I feel like he was going to take the plunge regardless, and he just needed a little coaxing to do so. (Umm, we all just met each other. Are you really going to place so much faith and trust in people that you don’t even know?)

I thought it couldn’t get any juicier until Brett named-dropped Julie at Kitson for his pulls. Scandalous! Isn’t that white collar identity theft? All I know is that if I get an email from Pastor Nelson about transferring $2.5 million dollars into my bank account, it’s going straight to the spam filter!

My last thoughts are about the party at Gary’s house. Ok, can Gary’s house be any more gorgeous? The mothereffer lives in a Norman Rockwell painting. I would want to come back in my next life as even a light fixture in Gary’s house! He’s got such an eye for detail, from the Union Jack pillows right down to the fizzy presecco berry cocktails he served. It’s the kind of place that you walk into and immediately feel seedy and underdressed, even in a leopard fur coat and cocktail hat.

Stay tuned for next week's episode. I can’t wait to watch my first job!

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