Dude, let's be honest here. Some bad habits are just too good to write off completely, and the temptation to engage in them is practically impossible to resist. It's not a matter of "if" but "when."
Forget the guilt and shame that comes with revisiting your old
friend bad behavior. Give yourself a break when it comes to the things you'll never be able to say goodbye to forever, like:
Enough with the irritability and the fever dreams about swimming in a tub of frosting. You'll eventually break down and shove your mouth hole with every donut and cookie within a mile radius. Sugar may be poison or whatever, but like many poisons, it's also delicious and almost impossible to avoid.
It’s worth carrying an extra five pounds to be a tolerable and mildly happy person. Just limit yourself to moderate amounts of candy for dinner like a normal person.
Hahaha, OK, that was cute how you thought you could survive more than 15 minutes without your daily dose of human being juice. And by “cute,” we mean nightmarish for literally everyone you came in contact with.
You found out the hard way that ginseng doesn’t cut it when you snapped at your co-worker for “typing too loudly” and then immediately fell asleep sitting up. On the upshot, research suggests coffee could lengthen your lifespan, so you’ll have plenty of years on this planet to be your delightfully awake and anxious self.
It was very noble to think that you could give up talking smack, but now everyone is talking behind your back about how boring your stories about gardening are. Win back your friends by admitting it’s OK to talk about your other friends -- within reason, of course. BTW, gossip serves a very important purpose in human evolution, so even science says it's NBD to dish with your friends.
Sometimes you just need to unplug and and tune into some melodrama. When you tried to stop keeping up with the Kardashians, you didn't know what else to watch. There's no need to feel like you have to go to confession just because you love you a juicy confessional.
To be fair, when you dropped the f-bomb in front of your toddler niece, everyone thought that sh-t was whack, but that doesn’t mean you have to send your habit of cursing like a sailor out to sea. Cussing is free and one of the more harmless ways you can f--k up, so stop beating yourself up about it when you slip up.
Ironically, when you tried to stop complaining, you just felt like complaining about how much you missed complaining. There are enough optimists and positive thinkers in the world. Leave the uplifting thoughts to them, so that you have more to complain about. Everyone wins!