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11 'Harry Potter' Spells For The Stripping Sorcerers Of 'Magic Mike'

ENGORGIO.

For a movie with "magic" right in the name, "Magic Mike" involves surprisingly little spell-casting, enchanting, or wizardly whimsy... although there is a lot of wand-waving going on, if you know what I mean.

Perhaps that's just because the men of "Magic Mike" don't need any silly incantations or special potions to work their particular brand of magic. Obviously, they're doing quite well without a formal degree from Hogwarts. But if they wanted to up their game, there are a lot of spells from the "Harry Potter" universe that would be super useful to them.

Accio

On slow nights, Magic Mike and friends could accio passing groups of ladies through the door... and then accio all the money out of their purses and into their thongs.

Diffindo

Ripping your own pants off is hard and boring. Shred them from your body with magic, instead!

pants

Petrificus totalis

Although it might put a damper on their dancing abilities, a spell that (ahem) stiffens things would be useful in the male stripping world, for obvious reasons.

Confundo

Not only would this spell be useful, but I'm pretty sure they're already using it, which is why my mind goes blank every time Channing Tatum does th--

channing

...Wait, where am I?

Obliviate

Nobody will ever remember how you tripped over your own banana hammock and fell off the stage onto your face.

Legilemens

When you're not sure whether to go with the fireman outfit or the cowboy one, a spell that lets you literally enter the minds of your clientele and plunder their darkest fantasies might help sway your decision.

Protego

The law says you cannot touch... but I think I see a lot of lawbreakers up in here, so we're going to enchant everyone's genitals with a protective charm, just in case.

mcconaughey

Homenum Revelio

Having trouble locating your stripper bros in a dark room? There's a spell for that.

Erecto

Hermione used this spell to pitch a tent, and so can you.

Engorgio

OBVIOUSLY.

And of course, Aguamenti

As we all know, this spell causes water to erupt from the tip of your wand... which would be the perfect way to cool off after a particularly aerobic dance number. Oh, is that not where you thought we were going with this? That's because you're disgusting.

water