These NSFW Taylor Kitsch Pics Are The Only 'True Detective' Recap You Need

Chris Pratt said I should objectify men so that is what I am doing.

NSFW alert! You've been warned.

Look. You're going to be hearing a lot of chatter over the next few weeks about whether or not season two of "True Detective" is as good as the original, Matthew McConaughey/Woody Harrelson version.

You'll might hear critics saying that director Justin Lin copied the style of season one without any of the substance, or that Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn can't match Harrelson and McConaughey's action. You might hear that Rachel McAdams thoroughly breaks from her rom-com past with her role, or wonder whether The Yellow King will show up again.

All of these are valuable discussions to have about "True Detective," but right now it's Monday morning, and all we want your poor, weekend-addled brains to consider is these pics of erstwhile "Friday Night Lights" star Taylor Kitsch getting a BJ and showing off his perfect abs and glutes.

Enjoy our "recap" and remember -- tight abs, firm glutes, can't lose!

Okay, here's what went down on "True Detective." First, Taylor popped a Viagra. Then, he sauntered into a room like so:


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Next, he showed the world his butt as his lady-friend began to "take care of him," like so:


Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 10.23.20 AM

And finally, he made THIS FACE to show the world the PAIN he was feeling while receiving this BJ:


BOOM. End of recap. That's literally all you missed on "True Detective," and in my humble opinion, it offers plenty of impetus to keep on watching the show.